ATM4LYFE
by b2sty-b2uty
Summary: ATM is the dynamic quadruple-threat to the human race. Made of 4 amazing members, this girl group is set to debut late next year. This is their story. Beast, 2pm, and who knows what other fandoms involved, along with many OCs. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

"JINHWAAA WAKE UP!" I heard the yelling but it felt like I had just fallen asleep. There was no way it was—

"Time to get up, hun," Song-E gently nudged me, "We already let you sleep for 30 extra minutes."

"What's another 10?" I pouted and covered my face with an extra pillow.

"Jinhwa, you don't understand," Miyeon's voice came from above me, "Even _I'm_ awake now. It's time to get up."

I sighed but I sat up, and Miyeon was hovering over me smiling. I wanted to smile but I was too tired. My phone was still in my hand from last night. I looked over the new text messages.

( I don't mean it literally. )

( This is awkward. )

( You fell asleep, didn't you? )

( I'll talk to you tomorrow. )

They were all text messages from my good friend in BEAST, Dongwoon. I went back to the message he sent before I fell asleep.

( Aww.. I love you Jinhwa. )

I had read that. I had fallen asleep trying to respond. I knew it wasn't literal and I knew it was just because he was a good friend, but it still made my stomach do a back-flip. I decided it was best to text him back.

( You're right, I fell asleep. Sorry. D: I love you too oppa but not literally. )

The bedroom Song-E and I were sharing that week had become empty. I looked at the door mischievously, saw the movement of girls getting ready for the day of practice. I took the opportunity to lay back down and try to catch a few more minutes of sleep before the other members of ATM got really angry.  
>My eyes felt like they had only been closed for a second when I heard Jaesoon's voice, "Jinhwa! You don't understand. Even <em>I'm<em> awake now. It's time—"

"What the heck, Jaesoon, I literally said that exact same thing to try to get her up!" Miyeon laughed, "Get out of my head!" Jaesoon joined her, then shook me to try to get me to join in as well. I felt like a rag doll. But it worked—I was awake now. Barely.

It had been 2 weeks since the three of us moved into a dorm together. With two bedrooms, one small bathroom, and barely much else, it was any girls' morning nightmare. We had to take shifts in the bathroom. This was Song-E's idea -her first act as leader.

ATM is what they named us. "A+ Talent Media" is what the ATM stands for, but only for now. No one is really sure what the ATM _should_ stand for, but since our debut was delayed an entire year, we had lots of time to figure it out. ATM consists of four members, myself included.

First, Song-E, our lovely leader, was the company's first choice. An all great singer and dancer, and all around great performer, Song-E brought power and control to any song. In fact, JKLOL Entertainment almost had her debut alone, but as the company's very first debuting artist, they wanted something new and strong, something that said "Look the fuck at me, bro." That's where Jaesoon and Miyeon came in. Jaesoon had incredible dance skills, and everyone could see it but her. Miyeon was charisma with legs, the best lady rapper I'd ever heard, and she was still able to sing. They were a set team. But I was given the chance—the chance to prove myself. And I did. All it took was one audition, and I sang my heart out. My dancing could use a little work, but with mentors like the hired choreos and Jaesoon, I would pick up quick. That's what our manager, Jiyoon, keeps telling me anyway. I'm glad I was chosen to be included in ATM though, because before the group was even discussed, the four of us were friends. Although I was intimidated by their talents, especially in comparison to my own, they welcomed me into their group like they would a little puppy. I've felt at home ever since.

The wait for our debut, however, would be a long one. The company was involved in a train wreck of a copyright process, trying to get not only "JKLOL" trademark, but also "ATM" trademark. We were royally screwed on this one. But the head-hanchos planned our debut to be no later than December of 2012. In the meantime, however, the four of us made a private decision to take an offer from another company if we were given the opportunity to shine.

We had a practice from hell from 6am to 5pm, with only a 20 minute lunch break at 11:30. We weren't even practicing anything relevant; we just had to keep our strength and stamina at a high. Our debut was going to be the newest and most amazing. We had to come out well rehearsed and better than any rookie group could be. That being said, we had to train—hard. Exhausted, hungry, and worst of all, smelly, the practice choreos finally let us go back to our dorm at 6:15pm.

"This is what it's going to be like, ladies. Time to shape up," one of the choreo oppas said, but it was just words to us.

"Why is Jaesoon the only one who can do the routine right?" Miyeon asked with a pouty lip.

"I did it right, too," Song-E sounded slightly offended when she said this, so Miyeon backed down a little.

"Yeah but Jaesoon does it exactly like the choreos. The rest of us look sloppy," I said honestly. Song-E sighed and Miyeon shrugged in agreement.

"You guys will get the hang of it," Jaesoon assured us, "Seriously, I've been dancing a lot longer than you three."

"Rub it in," Miyeon grunted.

"She's trying to make us feel better," I defended.

"Please don't get into an argument, I'm too tired to deal with it," Song-E covered her eyes with her hand like a tired mother.

"Excuse me, _leader_," I emphasized the title and Song-E gave me a look that said "are we really going to go there tonight?" I immediately felt bad and apologized, which made her expression turn back into the tired mother.

Jaesoon sighed, "We're all tired and grumpy and—"

"Hungry," Miyeon interrupted.

"—I think we just need to go home and recover."

"Can't," Miyeon let a smile creep onto her face, "I got plans."

"With Doojoon?" Jaesoon asked, seemingly curious, but I knew the truth behind her tone was anxiety. Right now, Jaesoon would give anything for Miyeon to say "no" to the question.

"Nope," Miyeon smiled, "With Taecyeon."

I nudged her and wiggled my eyebrows, "Mind if I join you?"

She simply shrugged me away and smiled, "I haven't seen him in a while, so I'm pretty excited."

Jaesoon was smiling to herself. Only I knew why.

Doojoon and Jaesoon were really close friends. Before ATM, Miyeon had started to become seemingly close to Doojoon as well. It upset Jaesoon when they hung out, but she'd never actually tell Miyeon that. I think she figured it out, though, because she gradually drifted away from Doojoon. I wondered if there were deeper feelings involved, but wondering was as far as I'd want to get to the situation.

My pocket vibrated and it made my heart leap. It was foolish of me to have so much hope, but I smiled when the screen told me I was right: Text message from Dongwoon.

( Are you too tired to hang out with me tonight? )

I wanted to tell him that I was never too tired to hang out with him, but the truth was, I was exhausted. As ATM got closer and closer to debuting, I felt like I would have less and less time for my friends. My main concern was Dongwoon. He had a busy schedule of his own to worry about and if he could make room for me, I should make room for him, also. I sent him the reply he knew he'd get.

( I'm never too tired to hang out with you! ^^ )

"You're texting Dongwoon? Again?" Jaesoon raised her eyebrow at me.

"How did you—"

"Your face," Song-E answered, "We can always see it on your face. Wish you'd admit you like him."

"He's my best friend," I laughed.

"Donghwa forever," Miyeon batted her eyelashes, "It's meant to be."

"You're all full of it," I laughed, "I'm going to hang out with him tonight. So Song-E and Jaesoon can have the dorm—"

"We can actually sleep? WOW!" Song-E joked.

"I think I want to see a movie. I wonder who will go with me."

"Why don't you ask DooJo—"

"I think," Jaesoon cut me off and cleared her throat, "I think I'll invite Jiyoon unni. She's so busy all the time and I just want her to know that we all care about her."

"Now I feel selfish," I said guiltily. Miyeon was texting away—probably Taecyeon. I envied her. Taecyeon was gorgeous. But he was also very interested in Miyeon, it was clear. And why wouldn't he be? Miyeon had swag that was out of this world.

"Don't feel that way," Song-E smiled, "I'll join you, Jae. We haven't spent time with Jiyoon unni in a while."

"Seriously, Jinhwa, don't feel bad," Jaesoon smiled, "We all want you to hang out with Dongwoon so you can come to terms with the fact that you two are in love and it's just hiding behind the fact that you two are so stup—simple-minded."

She corrected herself before she called either of us stupid. Dongwoon was pretty prestigious, and _far_ from stupid. He was well equipped in the education department, and all the other good departments one would require in a boyfriend. But I found myself avoiding categorizing him with guys I was interested in because I knew with 100% certainty that Son Dongwoon was out of my league.


	2. Chapter 2

"Kai-bai-BO!"

Miyeon threw her fist out in rock formation, and I looked down at my fingers in the shape of scissors.

"Best two out of three?" I asked. She raised her eyebrow smugly and took the stance.

"Kai-bai-BO!" I threw paper down, so did she. "Kai-bai-BO!" this time, I threw paper and she threw rock.

"Oooh, this is getting intense," Jaesoon pretended to watch intently, "Who will get the shower first? Song-E, I am now taking bets!"

"500 won on maknae," Song-E said without looking up from her phone.

"You're on!" Jaesoon laughed, "You're cheap, leader."

"Kai-bai-BO!" I threw down scissors and again, Miyeon beat me with her fist. She laughed and ran to the bathroom.

"It's okay, you'll get her next time!" Jaesoon smiled and ruffled my hair while I pouted.

"Guys," Song-E had on her freak-out face. My stomach dropped. I hoped she was about to tell us some good news, "We have a slight problem." She was staring at her computer screen in point-blank shock. Jaesoon and I rushed to her side as she yelled for Miyeon. On the screen was a picture of Gikwang, in his usual public-attire of a hat and sunglasses. But he wasn't alone.

"Oh shit," Jaesoon mumbled, "That's you, unni!"

"What could possibly be more important than my sh—Oh shit," Miyeon saw the screen and the headline.

"BEAST Gikwang's new girlfriend?" Song-E read, "Question mark? Do we look like a couple?"

The four us looked at the picture again. Gikwang and Song-E were smiling at each other and their shoulders were touching. To us it looked normal because the two of them were friends, but to the outside world…

"Check twitter," I suggested.

"He's already told his followers that its only a rumor, and that "the girl in that picture is only a friend" so I'm not worried," Song-E looked slightly deflated. With Gikwang, it was a situation where there was a very obvious yet unspoken fact: Song-E and Gikwang were crazy for each other. They couldn't look at each other for more than a few seconds without smiling or giggling. It has always been like this, from the time they had first met several years ago.

"You look sad, unni," I dared say. She just laughed at me.

"Do they know anything about you?" Jaesoon tried to read on but Song-E closed the screen.

"They don't know anything yet but I'm sure they will. No need to freak out."

My phone rang, and the screen said Dongwoon. I wondered if I should answer, already knowing that it would be about this whole thing. He'd tell me that we couldn't hang out tonight in case we were seen. But I answered anyway.

"Hello," I said brightly.

"So do you guys know?" he asked.

"Yes," I answered, "and if you don't want to hang out, that's fine," I sighed. I hate being right. There was a long pause. I hate those, too.

"I was just going to suggest you come over. Not to the dorm. To my apartment." He said this so happily that I couldn't resist saying yes. Dongwoon had recently began renting his own apartment that wasn't even 5 blocks from Beast's dorm. It was his first place on his own and he was really happy about that. He always tried to show it off. But he wasn't allowed to stay there when Beast had schedules to do, so we'd only be there for hanging out, I'm sure.

"I'll see you soon then?" he asked.

"Yeah I'll just meet you there," I said, knowing it would take me longer than "soon" to get there. But I wouldn't mention that to Woonie.

"Jinhwa get off the phone this is serious business!" Miyeon slapped the phone out of my hand and made me drop it.

"Yah, ask nicely!" I whined while picking up my phone. It had closed when it fell so the call had ended, but I didn't bother calling Dongwoon back.

"What are you going to do if they start stalking all of us?" Jaesoon asked Song-E.

"We'll ask Jiyoon-ssi when we see her tonight. If she's not already on her—"

Just then Jiyoon walked through the door and sighed, "Seriously guys?" Jaesoon, Miyeon, and I pointed at Song-E, who pouted innocently. Jiyoon sighed and walked over to us, "It's fine. It's not the end of the world. Gikwang and Cube have it under control. But seriously? Why do you two have to be so—"

"Cute?" Miyeon suggested.

Jiyoon paused, then shrugged, "Well yeah. Cute."

Song-E stood up and went to the kitchen. She was embarrassed and disappointed at the same time. Jaesoon followed her while Miyeon and I just sat with Jiyoon.

Jiyoon sighed, "I can't say I'm that surprised. Those two… well, you know." She smiled at us knowingly.

"Am I cool to take a shower do you think?" Miyeon asked.

"Is it really still a good idea to go—"

"Last time I checked," Jiyoon defended, "Taecyeon isn't part of Beast."

Miyeon smiled in thanks at her, and Jiyoon looked at me, "It'll be nothing. Let her have her fun."

"Is it okay if I go to Dongwoon's apartment?" I asked.

"He has an apartment now?" Jiyoon asked back, then chuckled, "If I haven't heard about it yet, then I'm guessing it's safe."

Song-E and Jaesoon came back out of the kitchen, and Song-E looked as though she had cheered up.

"Unni, can we see a movie?" Jaesoon asked with pouty lips.

"I thought you'd never ask," Jiyoon sighed and smiled, "I've been bored lately. Let's go do something!" She turned to me, then the smile faded, "Oh wait, you and Miyeon have _plans_, better not ask you to change those."

"I'm sorry unni," I pouted and looked at my hands.

Jiyoon nudged me, "Yah, I'm just kidding. Go have fun while you're still young."

When I finally made it to Dongwoon's apartment, I let myself in with the hidden key. He was asleep on the couch, so I slipped the remote from his hands, lifted his feet up as slowly and gently as possible and squeezed my way under his legs. I took this time to catch up on my dramas that I had secretly set to record at Dongwoon's for occasions just like this. After less than 15 minutes of the latest episode of _We Got Married: Khuntoria_, I fell asleep, too.

I woke up to Dongwoon poking my face.

"Jinhwa please wake up, you're scaring me," he said in a worried tone.

"Huh?" I peeked a look at him and instantly got embarrassed.

"It looked like you weren't breathing!" Dongwoon said, relief coating his deep voice, "You just sat there with your mouth open, like a zombie." I could feel my face getting redder while he continued, "I tried to shake you awake, but you just flopped on top of me. You really scared me."

I let out a nervous chuckle, "My bad… I was watching Khuntoria but—"

"You've had a long day. I understand, really, I do," he touched my cheek and smiled. We stayed like that for a minute, smiling at each other. It would've been awkward for someone else to touch me like this, but for Dongwoon this was normal behavior.

"You hungry?" I finally snapped out of it and stood up toward the kitchen.

"Starving, what are you going to make me?" he smiled and leaned against the kitchen counter while I explored his fridge.

"You expect me to cook when all you have in your fridge is bottle water and strawberries?"

Dongwoon pouted, "I guess we'll order in. Unless you want to go grocery shopping for me."

I sighed. That was the very last thing I felt like doing, so I gave Dongwoon a "dream on" look. He chuckled and made the call to the Chinese place 3 blocks away.

"So," he set his phone down and sat on the kitchen counter, "tell me about your day."

"We had a hellish practice and it feels like nothing got accomplished," I pouted, "I can't get the choreo down to save my life. Jaesoon is the only one who can get it—"

"How is Jaesoon?" Dongwoon asked, "Her and Doojoon haven't been out in a while. Are they still friends?"

"I don't know what's going on with that, to be honest," I sighed.

"What about Miyeon? She used to hang out with him, too," Dongwoon was observant but he was talking about the wrong things. This wasn't my battle, and I didn't want to get involved, so I just shrugged.

"How about Song-E?" Dongwoon asked, "She okay?"

I looked at him and bit my lip, "She's kinda hurt, to be frank."

Dongwoon look utterly confused, "Hurt? Why?"

I sighed, "You really want to go there?" His face didn't change at all, so I continued, "Well Gikwang just kinda dismissed her off, don't you think?"

"No," Dongwoon said, "They're not together, so why shouldn't he dismiss the rumors?"

"They're obviously insane for each other. The entire world can see it, except those two. I don't understand why—"

"It just doesn't work like that in the idol world, Jinhwa," Dongwoon started to sound oddly wise, "Gikwang has created a huge name for himself, and we'd be foolish to say he's not a huge part of Beast's popularity. If he gets a girlfriend, our fans—"

"Why is that the issue here all of a sudden?" I asked, a little overly defensive.

Dongwoon sighed, "What if it was me and you? Would you be mad if I dismissed you like that?"

I paused. The answer was yes, but I scoffed it away and instead answered, "No, because we're different than those two."

Dongwoon mumbled, "Not by much."

There wasn't much to say after that. There was so much I wanted to ask Dongwoon, and so much more I wanted to bring up about Song-E and Gikwang. But I kept quiet. Quiet through eating Chinese, and quiet through the movie he rented. I was tired, but I couldn't close my eyes without my mind racing, so I stared at the TV blankly.

But then something strange happened. There was a sort of silent apology that both of us felt. I knew it was there when he pulled me to his side by wrapping his arm around me and giving my arm a gentle squeeze. I couldn't keep the small smile off my face. I rested my head against his shoulder, like I always do, took in a breath of his smell, barely turning my face to catch it off the skin of his neck, like I always do. Dongwoon's breath slowed down, and soon his head was drooping. Asleep—exactly where I wanted to be, but I knew I had to get home soon. I checked my phone for the time, but I had two texts. First was from Jaesoon.

( Song-E and I are sick, so Jiyoon cancelled practice tomorrow. )

The next was from Jiyoon.

( I don't suggest you stay at Dongwoon's tonight, but if you're just too tired, don't worry about it because we aren't practicing tomorrow. )

I sighed. This was Jiyoon's way of telling me to stay put. It was already late and she didn't want me out by myself.

I texted Jaesoon back.

( Feel better unni! How did you guys get sick? )

Dongwoon woke up and blinked at me, "Why'd you let me fall asleep?"

"I know you must be tired," I said simply, sending a text to Song-E.

( I hope you feel better soon unni! Do you want me to come home and take care of you? )

"Who are you texting? One of your boyfriends?" he teased.

"Yes," I chuckled, "Actually I'm texting all of them."

I sent a text to Miyeon, too, for good measure.

( Are you home/going home tonight? )

Miyeon was the first to text back.

( Taecyeonie and I are out clubbing, but I'm sure I'll make it home. )

I laughed a little to myself.

( Tell Taecyummy that I still want to meet Khun and preferably Toria, too. )

Dongwoon took my phone and held it over his head, "Pay attention to meeeee!"

I laughed and tried to reach my phone again but he held it away from me. "I am paying attention to you sleepy head."

"No, you're texting," he peeked at my phone, "Your boyfriend Jaesoon texted you back, can I read it?"

"Like I care," I laughed, and climbed on him enough to grab my phone back.

( Not sure. It's a fever and cough sort of thing, so make sure you and Miyeonie don't get it. It sucks. )

"Aww, Jaesoon is sick?" Dongwoon was reading over my shoulder. He rested his chin there and I noticed his hand on my other side.

"Yeah, her and Song-E," I said, my voice was full of concern for my unnies, "I hope Miyeon and I don't catch it, too."

"Then you better stay here," Dongwoon kept a serious face, "You shouldn't go back while they have fevers. Everything they touch could make you sick!"

I laughed, "I'm sure it's fine to go home. Someone needs to take care of them." I tried to stand up but Dongwoon pulled me back down.

"I'm serious, Jinnie, you can't get sick!" he whined and suddenly he looked about 10 years old, "If you get sick, then I'll get sick and then all of Beast will get sick and it'll be your fault!"

I blinked, "You can't put that kind of responsibility on my shoulders."

"I just did," he smirked, "So restart the movie and let's actually try to watch it this time."

"But I already watched it all," I pouted.

Song-E texted me back.

( It's probably better if you bunk on Woonie's couch. )

"See? At least someone agrees with me," Dongwoon kept reading over my shoulder. I sighed.

"I didn't bring my toothbrush or anything!" I pouted.

"Go to the corner and get a toothbrush and I'm sure I have some old pajamas that will fit you."

I frowned, "I have to go? All by myself? But I'm scared."

Dongwoon chuckled, "Then I'll go get you a toothbrush after I find you some pajamas. Come on," he jumped up and held out his hand. I followed him to his room, which still had a bunch of boxes. He went straight to a box to find me something to sleep in. He held up some sweat pants that had an elastic waist and a drawstring tie.

"These will be long but the bottoms are elastic too so you can push them up if you want," he handed them to me and I examined them for a minute.

"These are huge," I said with a little giggle.

"They're the smallest ones I have," Dongwoon pouted.

"They'll do," I patted his cheek, "Now go get me a toothbrush."

Dongwoon laughed and ruffled my hair, "Make yourself comfortable, I'll be back in 10 minutes."

I decided it wouldn't hurt to lay down on Dongwoon's bed for a few minutes. It was comfortable.. much of an improvement from the one at the Beast dorm. Not like I'd spent a lot of time there… I took a nap there one afternoon but no one else was there besides Junhyung, and he was watching TV. I remember I could hear the TV while I was falling asleep… Yeah, this bed was much more comfortable…

And thus, I drifted off to sleep in Dongwoon's bed.


	3. Chapter 3

When I woke up the next morning, I was still in Dongwoon's bed alone. I felt bad for stealing his bed in his own house but at least he didn't wake me up to make me move. I sat up and stared around the room for a minute. He still had a lot of unpacking to do. His walls were bare and he still had a lot of clothes in boxes. He didn't have a bookshelf yet, so his books were all stacked on top of each other in the corner of the room. I noticed the sound of the shower coming from the door to my right, Dongwoon's bathroom. I sighed and laid back down. I tried not to fall asleep while I waited to get in the bathroom to brush my teeth. Eventually, I got up and went to Dongwoon's dresser. I found a hair brush and ran it through my hair. I didn't bother making it cute, so I just threw it on top of my head in a bun. My mouth felt gross, all I wanted to do was brush my teeth.

Finally, Dongwoon made his entrance into the room. I saw him in the mirror, wearing only a towel and wet hair. I looked down immediately.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were awake," he said smugly. I bet he'd HOPED I was awake so he could show off his abs. Those perfectly sculpted abs… I mentally slapped myself. Knock it off, gutter-brain.

"Yeah, just put some clothes on so I can brush my teeth," I avoided looking at him, continuing to play with my hair in the mirror. He was standing next to me, looking at me expectantly in the mirror. "Yes, Woonie?"

"I need to get in the drawers," he said with a slight mocking tone to his voice.

"Oh, gosh, I'm sorry," I quickly moved away and headed for the kitchen.

Maybe if I drank my juice before I brushed my teeth, I wouldn't have that nasty aftertaste. But alas, when I opened the fridge, all that was in there were last night's Chinese leftovers and bottled water. I sighed and peeked back in Dongwoon's room. He had modestly went to dress in the bathroom. I took the opportunity to check my phone for the time, and was shocked to find it was 9 am. How did I wake up so early? It was even weirder that I didn't have any texts either, so I assumed everyone else was still asleep.

Dongwoon came out of the bathroom in athletic shorts and a black t-shirt. He hadn't even pulled his fingers through his hair, as it stuck around in several different places, as if he had simply run a towel through it.

"You can brush your teeth now, with your brand new toothbrush that you couldn't even go to sleep without," he scoffed playfully at me.

"Your bed is really comfy," I teased back, "but I'm sure the couch was nice, too."

Dongwoon blushed, "The couch? What makes you think I slept on the couch?"

I accidentally over-applied toothpaste to my brush, "What do you mean 'what makes me think you slept on the couch'? You didn't sleep in there with me did you?"

"I stayed on my side of the bed, although you were more of a violator of sides than I was little miss I-always-have-to hug-something-especially-if-its-Dongwoon's-pillow," he argued, "Seriously, Jinhwa, I think you may have hurt my neck last night."

"You should've slept on the couch then! Or woke me up to sleep on the couch!" I knew my face was red because it felt like it was on fire.

"Calm down, girl, we were just sleeping. It's not a big deal," Dongwoon laughed and pulled out his toothbrush, "Got enough toothpaste?"

"I'm compensating for skipping my brush last night," I lied and started to brush in my usual rough way. Dongwoon just rolled his eyes at me.

I looked at the two of us standing in front of the mirror. He was much taller than me, I came up to just past his shoulder. We both looked hellish, especially our hair. My makeup had smeared a bit under my eyes but only enough to give them the look of dark bags. Dongwoon really did have bags under his eyes, though. He worked so hard, and I was so proud of him.

Dongwoon spat first, then sipped the water from the running faucet to rinse. I watched him and tried not to smile while brushing. He was kind of struggling to get his head at the right angle for sipping out of the faucet. It was stupid things like that about him that made me smile.

"Hurry up, I need to spit," I said with a mouthful of dental-cleansing foam. Dongwoon rolled his eyes playfully but got out of the way.

The way the two of us felt around each other was so effortless, and I really liked having someone like that in my life. I'd never had that with anyone until I met Dongwoon. In fact, it was Dongwoon who connected me to my new life now. I was training with Cube until I heard about a new entertainment group starting up. I would have never had the confidence to try to make it there if it weren't for him, and I would never have met my three best friends now. In a way, I owed a lot of myself to Dongwoon. He was the person to tear down my walls, and he helped me convince myself that I was good enough for this—this idol world. He believed in me before anyone, and for that, he will always be my very best friend.

"What's your schedule look like today?" I asked while starting a pot of coffee: the only thing in Dongwoon's pantry.

"Radio show and practice," he said, "kinda slow, actually."

I nodded, "I'll go to the store for you. On your way to the show, just text me a list of the things you need."

"You'll do that for me?" he asked excitedly.

"As thanks for letting me crash," I smiled.

"Oh, you're welcome to crash any time you want," he said, "but I'd really love you if you went to the store for me."

"You're supposed to love me already," I said with mock offense.

Dongwoon just laughed and stretched, "I'll make my coffee to go, I'm already running a little late."

"Are you meeting the rest of the gang at the dorm first?" I asked while pouring his coffee in a to-go cup.

"Manager-ssi would not have it any other way," Dongwoon laughed and stretched, "Thanks, Jinhwa. You're such a perfect little housewife!" He ruffled my hair, "I'll see you later then?"

"Maybe," I said, "If not, text me." I walked him to the door and waved him out. I sighed while he disappeared down the hall, and only one though crossed my mind: Did he really just call me a housewife?

"That's a good thing though," Miyeon told me when I called her and told her everything, "Guys like that type of girl. Cooking, cleaning, going to the store, all that boring stuff." I heard her yawn.

"I guess you're right," I said, thinking about that for the first time.

"And about sleeping in the same bed as him, why are you so worried? It's not like he has cooties, and you could sleep in the same bed with me or Song-E or Jaesoon," she said, "Don't worry about it. You're making it out to be a big deal."

"But.. you guys are different than Dongwoon. You crashed at Yummy's house last night, didn't you?"

"Who?"

"Taecyeon's house, I mean," I corrected myself.

"Yeah, I took his bed and he slept on the couch," she said, "but me and him are different than you and Dongwoon."

"How?" I stirred my coffee and pouted to myself.

"We just are," Miyeon cleared her throat, "I gotta go, he's staring at me and it's making me feel… a lot of different kinds of things."

I laughed, "Call me later please!"

When I hung up I noticed Dongwoon really did text me a list of things he wanted… but instead of a list of things for me to buy, he sent me a list of the foods he wanted to eat. And coincidentally, they were all things I had made for him before. I smiled to myself and made a grocery list.

While I was shopping, I reminded myself to ask Dongwoon to pay me back for all of this. I wasn't the idol, he was. Then even more thoughts crossed my mind. _Maybe I should charge him for cooking all this food for him on top of buying all these myself!_ And _When I'm an idol, I will pay someone to do all my cooking because I am sooo sick of it._ And _I wonder what the unneers want for dinner._ Eventually all of my thoughts carried me completely throughout the store for my ingredients. I was nervous looking at my basket. There were several people at the lines to check-out, so I was nervous about that, also. What if I didn't have enough money?

I watched nervously while the clerk rang up my—no, Dongwoon's items. I held my wallet nervously as the total passed my budget. I tried to interrupt the clerk but she was on a item-ringing spree. I bit my lip, trying to decide what to put back.

"I have to take some of this off, I don't have enough," I said nervously, shakily. There was a line backed up behind me.

The clerk blinked at me, "What would you like me to take off?"

I bit my lip again, "I'm not sure, let me—"

"How short are you?" the guy behind me asked.

I cleared my throat, "Not much, it's not a big deal." I found three things I wanted to put back before the guy could say anything and finished the payment, completely embarrassed.

"Can I have those items, miss?" the guy asked the clerk, charming her out of her stupid green vest.

I tried to arrange my bags in my arms so I could carry them all, but I was struggling. I rolled my eyes at the guy stealing my groceries. If he wanted them so bad, why didn't he just get them while he was shopping? I finally managed to carry all my bags and headed toward the door.

"Excuse me, miss!" the same guy called after me, "Let me help you."

"I got it actually," I smiled forcibly, "Thank you though."

"Well do you have room for one more?" he held up a plastic bag of the three things I couldn't afford. I tried to free a hand to take the bag, but I wasn't getting anywhere.

"You didn't have to…" I struggled, "buy those…"

"Just let me take a couple of those," he said and took the one in the middle, freeing up my vision and letting me see his face. I blinked. It couldn't be the same…

"I'm Sungyeol, what's your name?"


	4. Chapter 4

Sungyeol, standing right in front of me. There was so much I could have said to him. So much I wanted to say to him. But for some reason, the worst possible thing escaped my lips.

"Why couldn't it have been Hoya?"

Sungyeol laughed, "Oh ouch, I see how it is, I'll just take these back now," he playfully tried to grab the plastic bag with the things he bought me in them.

"No, I'm sorry I didn't mean that!" I shook my head apologetically, "I really didn't, I'm sorry. My name is Jinhwa," I tucked my head down.

"Nice to meet you, Jinhwa," he smiled and tucked his head also, "So where are we going with your bags?"

"You don't have to help me," I said, my voice shaky, "You must be busy."

"Actually I'd like to feel normal even if it's just for a few minutes, so if you'd allow me to help you, that would be awesome," he seemed like he wasn't going to give up.

"Uh, okay," I laughed a little, "If that's going to make you happy, I'll do what I can to help!"

But while he walked beside me back to Dongwoon's, he was silent. I was so nervous around him that I didn't want to try to talk about something stupid, so I was silent. We just walked along, quiet, he kept his head down so no one recognized him, and when we got to Dongwoon's building, he helped me hold my groceries more comfortably so I could get inside.

"Thank you, Jinhwa," he said simply.

"No, thank you," I said enthusiastically, "Really, you're… nicer than I expected."

"You expecting otherwise? Did you think I'd be stuck up or something?" he said defensively.

"No, that's not at all—"

"Because we're all normal people just like you, so don't think we're incapable of being nice," he kept on like I was judging him.

"Cut it out, will you? I didn't mean anything by it besides the fact that it was nice of you to help me," I don't know what made me go off on him like that. He looked shocked that a normal person was talking to him that way. So I tried to redeem myself, "I actually always had a feeling you were a really sweet person, from all the Infinite videos I've seen and interviews I've read and stuff…" I said uncomfortably.

"I appreciate that," he said and nodded. There was a pause before he said, "I'd like to exchange numbers. Maybe you can help me become me again."

Whatever that meant, I was totally down. I gave him my number excitedly and he texted me right away.

"I look forward to learning more about you, Jinhwa," he smiled and backed toward the street again.

"Likewise," I smiled. I would have waved him away but my arms were full of bags, so I just pushed my way inside the building. I don't think what had just happened really hit me yet. It was insane.

But here came the really insane part: telling the other girls. Texting them would be too informal. This was huge news and I was way too excited. Infinite was our favorite group. As much as the 4 of us loved Beast, they were all our friends by now because of our experiences with Cube. But Infinite—I mean, _INFINITE_—was completely different. I fan-girl over Hoya like no one's business. The four of us watch Infinite's performances and cry together. Sad? Maybe. Dedicated? Hell yes.

I took a deep breath. I would tell them one at a time. I decided I'd tell Jaesoon first because we both shipped Yadong so hard, and she fan-girled for Dongwoo like I did for Hoya. We had a connection there. The phone rang 4 times before she answered, sleepily and nasally.

"I hope you didn't just wake me up for nothing," she said in her sick voice.

"I have such an amazing reason that I'm surprised I'm not pissing myself," I said, the magic of the day finally beginning to hit me.

"I'm listening," she said, slightly interested all of a sudden.

"I ran into someone at the grocery store. This person bought me three items that I could not afford and had to ask the cashier to take off my list. This person then helped me carry my bags back to Dongwoon's, and we exchanged numbers," I said, hardly containing myself from excitement.

"Was this person a good looking male?" Jaesoon's tone was her usual flirty self again.

"This person was a god," I squeaked, "It was Infinite's VERY OWN SUNGYEOL." There was silence on the other end. I got nervous, "Unni? Are you there?"

"You ran into Sungyeol in public?" she interrogated, "And he bought something for you? And walked you back to Dongwoon's? AND GAVE YOU HIS NUMBER?"

"You don't believe me? If you promise to stay absolutely silent I'll three-way him into this call right now," I was bouncing with every word, my body letting out the energy involuntarily.

"Do it, I don't believe you," she wasn't nearly as skeptical as she was trying to sound.

"Fine," I said, "Hold please." I wasn't sure what I would say to Sungyeol if he actually answered the phone, but I had from now until the time he picked up to answer. I called, quickly switched Jaesoon back to the line, and the first ring hit. She was silent, which was good because that meant I didn't have to remind—

"Do you miss me already?" that perfect voice answered right on the second ring. Oh, shit. I lost my train of thought. I didn't know what to talk about now and he probably thinks I'm stupid and that I'm just some stupid fan-girl. But I am just a stupid— "Jinhwa are you there? Tell me I didn't get butt dialed after only 10 minutes."

"I'm here, I wasn't thinking," I laughed nervously, "I was just thinking… How much did those three things you got me cost? There's no receipt in the bag…"

"Why do you want to know?" he asked mischievously.

"So I can pay you back," I said, "It was really nice of you but I don't take charity. Even if it is from one of my favorite idols."

"I thought you were supposed to make me feel normal again," Sungyeol laughed.

"I would ask the same thing from any other person on the planet. Doesn't get more normal than that," I bit my lip, knowing Jaesoon was biting hers as well.

"Well, that's a shame… Because I'm not going to tell you how much you owe me. I gotta go, I'm walking into practice. Later." His end clicked, and I sniffed just to make sure he was gone. Silence.

"Speak calmly," I said to Jaesoon.

She didn't listen. All of a sudden, she started screaming hoarsely and mumbling illegitimate words. I was ready to hang up when she finally calmed down.

"Jinhwa, you are… you are… so amazing! How did you.. what did you… WHAT IS AIR?" Jaesoon's voice was muffled all of a sudden and I heard her coughing hard in the background.

"Unni you need to get some more rest. You're still really sick," I said concerned.

"WHO CARES YOU FREAKING MET SUNGYEOL! Is he as tall in person as he looks on stage?"

And for the next 30 minutes, details of the entire encounter, questions I'd never thought about.. everything was discussed. The same scenario, minus the actual Sungyeol phone call, occurred with Miyeon, since Jaesoon insisted that she tell Song-E for some reason she wouldn't disclose with me. I didn't think twice about it.

Miyeon was even more excited, if I ever believed it possible. She couldn't form coherent sentences for at least 5 minutes. It was funny, though. I got some material to make fun of her for a while.

"Jinhwa, I'm getting a call on the other line, can I call you back in a little bit?" she said after 20 minutes of fan-girling over Infinite.

"Sure thing," I said, "But it better be important."

Miyeon just laughed and said bye, and as soon as I hung up I started to work on Dongwoon's cooking. I had two texts from him, both saying the same thing. He must have sent it twice because I never responded.

( I'll be home around 3. )

I looked at the clock. It was only 1:00 so I knew I had plenty of time to get all his dishes at least started. He was going to be a happy camper when he got home.

My mind was in a completely different place when I was cooking. Everything made so much more sense with food. Food is good. Singing is good, too. My mother always told me that the difference between cooking and other hobbies is that cooking is actually necessary. It was her way of saying I could be doing more important things with my life than playing instruments and singing all the time. But to me, singing and cooking were the same thing. Just like everyone needs food to survive, people like me needed music. And just liked cooking was a hobby of use to most people, singing was a hobby that I found the most useful. I struggle to prove that to my family. Until I can prove myself to them, I am nothing. But at least I can cook.

I focused on Infinite instead. As much as I wanted to think about Hoya, my mind was clouded with Sungyeol. Not like that was a bad thing—Sungyeol is a cutie. Even cuter in person than I thought, and that's why I didn't recognize him immediately. But that wasn't it. I was focusing on his insecurity about being "normal." Did I even know what "normal" was? What if I misguide him? What if I just make it worse? And why was he so upset when he thought I expected him to be a snob?

3 came a lot sooner than I was expecting. I was halfway through my last thing to make when the door opened and Dongwoon's voice came booming through the hall declaring his presence.

"Did you have a nice radio show?" I asked nicely.

"Beast always rocks it on the air," he said, "Did you have a good day being a housewife?"

"I HAVE AWESOME NEWS FOR YOU!" I said bouncing, ready to tell him my Infinite story. He was quiet and ready, so I dove into the most exciting part of my day. He smiled and shook his head silently while I gushed. But something on his face was off, something about the way he kept shifting his weight from one side to the other.

"So you're gonna go be besties with Infinite now, right?" he teased, "It's like your dream come true."

"Not quite," I laughed, "I still have to debut."

Dongwoon just smiled uncomfortably. I couldn't figure out what I'd said to piss him off, but I decided to leave it alone. He opened the fridge and poured himself some juice.

"What do I owe you for the groceries?" he asked casually.

"Receipt's by the coffee pot," I said, calm once more. My phone was ringing from the other side of the kitchen where I'd left it.

"It's probably your new best friend Sungyeol," Dongwoon said in a mocking tone. I just ignored it, because the screen said Miyeon.

"Thanks for FINALLY—"

"Just listen to me," she sounded pissed, so I listened. "I've been arguing with the company board through Jiyoon for over an hour about this. Tell me you think it's retarded, too, okay?"

"I'm listening," I said, frowning with concern.

"You're familiar with SS501, right? You know Heo Young Saeng? His people called Jiyoon to see if I would MC for his solo song about to come out. Jiyoon's the one who called me earlier, to see if I could do it—"

"Wow, they asked you to be in his song? That's awesome, unni!" I said.

"Yeah, it would be freaking awesome, wouldn't it? But the board isn't letting me. Wanna know why? Because the promotions for the song would 'get in the way of ATM's practice schedule'… Can you believe this? I have the opportunity of a lifetime and they won't even…" Miyeon stopped and took a deep breath, "And Jiyoon says if I can't get back to them by tomorrow, they'll probably find someone else. I'm about to march to the board and tell them they're, pardon my English, fucking retarded."

"Don't they understand that publicity for you is publicity for ATM, and publicity for ATM is profit for them?" I said, just as angry as Miyeon at this point.

"Jinhwa, something over here is bubbling," Dongwoon peeked into a pot and sounded worried.

"I KNOW! That's what I've been trying to argue!" Miyeon said angrily, "I could do this, Jinhwa. All of you guys know that! I could freaking rock it up on stage with someone like Heo Young Saeng. They just need to give me the chance."

"Plus it would be good practice—"

"For when we actually debut and have to juggle performances, promotional things, and practicing. Yeah. I know. Jiyoon argued that for me, too. Still nothing. They really don't think I'm ready or something."

"They're wrong, Miyeon. You could do it, and you could do it better than anyone," I assured her. I knew this was going to be tough for her, but she would just have to accept the board's decision.

She sighed, "Just thought I'd share. Jiyoon's calling me again. I'll talk to you later. Are you going to be home later?"

"Probably, I doubt Song-E and Jaesoon are still contagious," I said. The truth was that whatever was going on in Dongwoon's head was making me slightly uncomfortable.

When I looked at him, though, he was innocently stirring the pot I had on the stove. I reached around him to turn the burner down, and he flashed his heart-stopping grin at me.

"I'll be home, too, then. Taec's going to be home soon, and I'll tell him what's going on… He's going to be pissed off, too. Later, Jinhwa."

I knew Taec would be pissed. Anyone who knew Miyeon knew she deserved this. Not only that, she would kill it, too. She's amazing at what she does.

"Everything alright?" Dongwoon asked, but without a lick of worry on his face. I stifled an annoyed chuckle.

"Yeah, everything's fine," pause, "I'll get out of your way when I'm done with this."

Dongwoon looked startled, "Wait, what do you mean out of my way? You're not in my way.. and I just got home."

"I'm almost done cooking, didn't you see your fridge? I need to go take care of my unneers though," I said simply, "So when this one is done, I gotta go."

Dongwoon sighed, "I'd take you home but it'd be unwise if you were seen with two idols in one day."

"Is there a problem?" I asked, "Are you .. upset? That I met Sungyeol?"

"No, there's no problem and I'm not upset," he said blankly, "Why would you think that?"

I paused, "You're just acting so weird about it…" I trailed off.

"Well it's not a big deal. So don't think I'm jealous or something, it's just your imagination."

"If you say so…"

Sure enough, as soon as I finished up my last dish, Dongwoon handed me the money he owed me and I was almost out the door.

"Hey, Jinhwa?" he asked, chewing the corner of his mouth.

"Yeah?"

He swallowed, "Maybe I'm a little jealous…"

I smiled reassuringly, "You have no reason to be."

Dongwoon smiled at me and opened the door for me. There was nothing else either of us had to say. There was a mutual understanding in play here, just like in so many of our other situations.

It had been a long, interesting day and it was only 4:00. I wanted to go take a nap or something, but I needed to stay awake so I got plenty of sleep before I got home to take care of my unneers. Although, I was probably about to get dealt with much more excitement than I wanted—all this Infinite hustle. But I wondered if Miyeon had called Jaesoon and Song-E about her potential promotions, too.

My mind was racing before I even walked in the front door. But when I did, I saw something that I wasn't expecting.

There was Gikwang, and Song-E. They were both standing at the front door. I saw both of them very clearly. But there was something going on between them that I didn't quite understand at the time. Gikwang was holding her face and they were kissing. I couldn't stop the smile from creeping onto my face.


	5. Chapter 5

I stood there smiling while Gikwang kissed Song-E. I knew this day would come. I knew they'd have to give up on this whole "Oh we're just friends" bull crap. They were both so perfect and cute together. And I called it! I knew the whole time that Songkwang would live happily ever—

"Gikwang, stop," Song-E pulled away and hit Gikwang on the arm, "What was that for?"

Gikwang blinked, "I thought that's what you wanted…"

"What? What gave you that idea? You can't just barge in here and… and…" Song-E's lip was trembling. I blinked. What was going on?

Gikwang noticed me first, "Ah, h-hey Jinhwa. Welcome home!"

"Actually, I was just popping in but if you're busy—"

"No, we're not busy. You came at just the right time," Song-E looked from Gikwang to me, "Gikwang was just leaving."

Ouch. She was pissed at something. I looked at Gikwang consolingly, and he looked just as confused as me.

"But…" he tried to take Song-E's hand but she discreetly put it in her pocket.

"Okay, well… I'll be in touch. Thanks for the soup," Song-E pulled me inside and shut the door directly behind Gikwang. She leaned against the door and faced me. "What do I do?"

I just blinked at her, "Well if it were me, I wouldn't have pushed him away."

"No, you don't understand… It was a pity kiss. He feels sorry for me."

"You do sound pretty sad with your voice so hoarse," I admitted.

"Not for that," she groaned, clearly annoyed at me, "The twitter thing… and he's always telling me how I should've debuted a while ago but hell, not like I can fix that… And I know we're friends but I doubt he'd even be friends with me if he didn't just feel sorry for me."

I shook my head as if I had water in my ears, "Wait, what? What are you talking about?"

"You know that feeling that someone is just helping you because they take pity on you?" Song-E rubbed her eyes and walked toward the couch.

"Possibly…?"

"That's how it felt when he kissed me," she plopped down on the couch.

"You are making this up," I said in disbelief, "Can't you see how much he cares about you?"

"You're wrong," she said, annoyed, "He just feels obligated to pay attention to me because he knows how I feel about him. Why else would he say something like 'I thought that's what you wanted'? He just wants to make me feel better."

"Unni, that's really not it, believe me—" I tried to reason with her.

"If it's not, why are things so complicated between us? Why is everything so … confusing?"

I tried to think about this like Dongwoon tried to explain, "Well, he's got a lot of fans that would be all pissed if he had a girlfriend… And he's a really popular member of Beast, so he kind of has to be responsible for the other five guys."

"I don't want to be his 'girlfriend' or anything," she sighed, "I just want to _feel_ that he cares about me."

I really didn't know how to convince her otherwise. I knew there was something she wasn't seeing in Gikwang. I could tell by the way he looked at her and touched her, even just barely, that she meant a lot to him. But I couldn't explain it to Song-E, so I just said, "I wish I knew what to say."

She sighed, "I'm going to go lay back down, I don't feel good."

I knew that had a lot to do with it. Song-E was a sweetheart, but when she's sick she won't let anyone help her because they're just "taking pity" on her. I couldn't believe she decided to have one of these moments now though. Now—of all times—_now._ It probably took a lot of courage on Gikwang's part to kiss her. And she tossed him out. The more I thought about it the angrier I got. But I had lost track of time in my thought and Song-E was already asleep on the couch.

It had been an insane day. Nothing was happening like it was supposed to. I went from being grumpy, to being an excited fangirl, to being an excited friend, and now I was grumpy again. In fact, my head began to hurt just by thinking about exactly what had happened to me that day.

Sungyeol. Wow. He was really cute in person.

I sat in the recliner by the couch and tried to watch a movie, but my eyes got heavy and I couldn't remember any part past the first 5 minutes.

I woke up a few hours later to Jaesoon yelling at me to get up.

"JINHWA GET UP AND TALK TO ME ABOUT YOUR DAY I WANT TO KNOW—"

"Jaesoon I already told you about Sungyeol," I laughed and stretched in the chair. Song-E was no longer on the couch. I wondered if she had went ahead and called it a night.

"But now we can fangirl together," Jaesoon seemed confused that I wasn't taking this as seriously as her. "Did you tell him about ATM?"

"You aren't understanding that I only saw this guy for … probably less than 5 minutes."

"But you got his number!"

Miyeon announced herself in the entrance and hurried into the living room, "Are we talking about Sungyeol?"

"Yes," Jaesoon answered while my lips formed "No."

"Okay tell us the ENTIRE story over again!" Miyeon squeezed herself in the recliner next to me, which made me laugh, but she and Jaesoon kept insisting I retell the story. So I did. Three times. And they were still gushing everywhere.

"How tall is he standing next to you?"

"Was he smiling?"

"Has he gained any weight yet?"

"Did he look tired?"

"They have a comeback coming up, don't they? Infinite does?"

"Was he sweet to you?"

"Did he say anything about Dongwoo?"

"Did he say anything about _any of them?_"

I blinked while they asked me these questions. I took a deep breath and answered them one by one, "He was a tiny bit taller than Dongwoon, he wasn't smiling too much but he was very friendly, he hasn't gained weight, he still looks like a toothpick, he did look a little tired, and there is a rumor that they'll be having a comeback soon but I don't know. He was very sweet to me, he didn't say anything about any of the other members," I took a deep breath and continued, "And, before you even ask, I'm not going to call him again tonight."

Miyeon and Jaesoon both pouted at the same time. I couldn't help but chuckle. I could understand their excitement.

"Let's learn the Before the Dawn dance," Jaesoon suggested.

Miyeon scoffed, "We can't even learn our own routine."

"But BTD is something completely different. I think we could so do it!"

I blinked at her and felt her forehead, "Are you feeling okay? I think your fever is coming back."

Jaesoon smacked my hand away but was smiling, "I'm serious! Could you imagine how fun it would be if we show them how awesome we were? Just think about it."

Just then, my phone started buzzing. Miyeon and Jaesoon squealed, thinking it was Sungyeol, but it ended up being Dongwoon. Miyeon got up so I could escape to the balcony of our dorm.

"Hi," I answered brightly.

"I just wanted to make sure you made it home okay."

"I'm here and safe," I assured him, "I got here hours ago."

"And…" he trailed off for a minute, "I wanted to say sorry for getting jealous."

"And…?" I knew there was more.

"Is Song-E around?" he asked nervously.

"She's asleep. Did Gikwang tell you what happened?" I asked sadly. "I feel terrible."

"Yeah, he told me. He wanted me to ask you not to tell the other girls. He doesn't want Song-E to feel bad about what happened."

"I think she already does," I said. It wasn't fully true, but I had a feeling that once Song-E started thinking about what had happened, she would regret it.

"He feels worse, I'm telling you. He didn't eat."

My jaw dropped. It was almost as bad as Doojoon not eating. "He didn't eat? What's he doing now?"

"When I left the dorm he was on the couch tossing a tennis ball in the air. But he was in his grumpy clothes," Dongwoon said it like it was nothing but I smiled. It amazed me how much the Beast guys had learned about each other. Who pays attention to what clothes people wear in a certain mood? People who were around each other every minute of every day. I hoped ATM would be that close one day.

"Do you think he's tried to call her or anything?"

"No way," Dongwoon said, sounding like he had food in his mouth, "He's going to wait for her to say something to him. So make sure she does, soon. Even if she just says hi or something, he'll spill. He's like that."

"Song-E isn't going to say anything," I said, "She's going to wait for him."

"Hmm," Dongwoon sighed, "Then we have a small problem."

We were both quiet for a minute. Finally, Dongwoon said, "I guess we just need to stay out of this one. It's gotten out of our hands."

I silently agreed. He knew.

"Things will work themselves out," he said positively.

"What about Doojoon and Jaesoon?"

"That I don't know," Dongwoon sighed, "You stop worrying about your unnis, and I'll stop worrying about my hyungs. We should be carefree maknaes."

I laughed, "Are you kidding? Leaders may be the spokesperson of the group but the maknae is the true backbone."

Dongwoon chuckled, but then he was quiet again. For a while, I thought he had hung up.

"Things between me and you are going to work themselves out, too," he said after a long pause.

"Things between me and you? What needs to be worked out?" I asked.

"Eh? Oh. Nothing. Just, you know, me being jealous you have a new buddy."

I was skeptical to believe him, but I let it slide this time, "Then of course they'll work out. You'll always be my best friend, you know that."

"Yes, Jinhwa, I know that," my reassurance seemed to only make him more frustrated, so I didn't say anything else. Things were quiet for a while again.

"Well I'm going to bed," he said, finally. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight oppa," I said cheerfully and hung up. I cleared my brain of him. I didn't feel like trying to translate his weird signals and hidden messages. I just wanted to put an end to the weirdest day of my life.

"Jinhwa, have you eaten?" Miyeon was stirring god-knows-what-in-a-pot, but I wasn't feeling hungry at all after all the cooking I did at Dongwoon's today.

"Yeah," I lied, "I'm gonna go lay down. I think Song-E is already asleep, too."

"Okay, sleep well punkin," Miyeon said teasingly.

"Goodnight, maknae!" Jaesoon said with a mouth full of food. It looked like sweets. She was so cute.

I crept quietly into the room I was sharing with Song-E for this week and got into bed without making any noise.

"Hey, Jinhwa?" Song-E asked as soon as I was in bed.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I overreacted to Gikwang a little?"

I thought about how to answer this. I wanted to say yes, but I didn't want to make her feel bad because I understood she had her reasons.

"Maybe a little bit," I said honestly, "But you can't help how you feel."

"The more I think about it, the more I want to go back and time and let him keep kissing me," she said casually. She was no longer upset. She was just sorta blank now. Probably because she was tired and sick.

"Whatever there is between you and him is far from over," I said, "You should call him or something tomorrow."

"I think I will," she said and yawned, "Thanks, Jinhwa."

"I didn't do anything," I was confused why she was thanking me.

"You don't have to… You didn't tell the other two, did you?"

"No," I said honestly, "I didn't want to embarrass you."

"Thanks for that, then," Song-E said. I smiled to myself.

"Goodnight, unni," I said quietly.

"Goodnight, maknae," Song-E said with a yawn.

I didn't want to dream at all that night. I didn't want to see Sungyeol or even Hoya, or any other Infinite member. I didn't want to see Gikwang and Song-E kissing. I especially didn't want to see Dongwoon. The more I thought how badly I didn't want to dream about him, the more clouded my head got with his weird signals. What between us needs to be worked out? Was there something I was missing? I wanted to ask him but I also knew he wouldn't tell me. I was scared of things getting complicated. Truth is, I had no idea what complicated was. But that was about to change, for sure.


	6. Chapter 6

My phone was ringing for what felt like hours. The bedroom door was open, so I assumed Song-E had already woken up. The alarm clock on the dresser said 8:12 am.

"Who the heck would be calling me at such an ungodly—" I started to think but the name on the ID was Sungyeol. I quickly answered, though my voice was more than strained when I did, "Hello?" it was more of question than it needed to be.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" Sungyeol chuckled.

"It's so early…" I couldn't help but whine. This just made him laugh more, "Sorry, I have trouble getting up in the morning."

"No, it's cu—it's pretty funny. Don't you have class or something?" he assumed.

"No, actually," I sniffed, "I'm not in school."

"Really?" he paused, "How old are you again?"

It was my turn to laugh, "I'm 18."

"Why aren't you in school?" he asked, almost scoldingly.

Because I'm training to be just like you, oppa. "I have my reasons…"

"Give me one good reason."

I sat up, "Why aren't _you_ in school?"

"Hmm, I don't like that tone, missy."

"Excuse me, sunbaenim—"

"You can call me oppa—"

"I'm not in school because I'm a trainee for a new entertainment company."

Silence. I didn't want to tell him, but then again I kinda did. It made me less normal, so maybe he wouldn't want to talk to me. More silence.

"Oppa?"

"I'm here," he said. "I'm shocked but at the same time, I'm not. And here I thought you were a normal girl."

"I'm still normal," I whined slightly, "I just want…"

"Fame?" he tried to guess.

"To be heard. For once," I said honestly. "To prove myself."

Silence again.

I asked, "So, you called for a reason, I'm guessing?"

"Ah, right," he said brightly, "Do you want to eat lunch with me today?"

My stomach flipped. Hell yes I do. "I have to see if I have practice today or not, can I call you back?"

"If you find out within the next 20 minutes, text me. If not, I'll call you back around 12, okay?"

"Busy day today?"

"It's not too bad. Hope to hear from you soon!" Before I could say anything else he'd hung up. I smiled to myself and fell back onto the pillow. Why in the world did he want to eat lunch with me? He was so stinking cute, and I was just normal, right?

Normal. And here he thought I was normal. Normal hair, normal height, normal face… Nothing special about me at all. And here _I_ thought I could be something better than normal. Thought I could be _something_ special. I had to chuckle to myself. Maybe I had more work cut out for me than I could handle.

"Who was that?" Jaesoon excitedly popped her head in the doorway. I smiled, but didn't say anything. "It was Sungyeol wasn't it?" I rolled over to face the wall and she plopped onto the foot of my bed, "What did he say?"

I peeked over my shoulder at her, "He wants to have lunch if I'm not busy."

"YOU AREN'T BUSY!" Jaesoon bounced, "Can I come?"

"I don't know… We aren't resuming practice today?" I stretched my hands over my head.

"Yeah but not too intense, Song-E's still got a bad cough. I'm sure we can break. AT LEAST have him come pick you up at the building so we can see him in person…" Jaesoon's eyes were irresistibly pleading. I couldn't say no. She sure was good at aegyo if it was to get her way. I rolled my eyes and groaned, but she knew it was successful.

"I'll text him back," I sighed. Jaesoon squealed and clapped, then ran into her room to tell Miyeon.

( Do you want to come pick me up for lunch? Whatever time is fine with me. )

I waited not even 2 minutes for his text back.

( That sounds good. Just give me the address of where to pick you up and I'll be there around 12:30. )

I couldn't help smiling to myself, but I told myself I should get used to stuff like this. Part of being an idol was meeting other idols, right? It was time to stay cool. But what if he brought one of the other Infinite members? Like _Hoya_? My heart couldn't take it if I had to face Hoya with a straight face.

"JINAHHH!" I heard Jaesoon call from the kitchen, "Come eat!"

I washed up and sat down with the other girls for breakfast. I always ate the most at breakfast because I wanted to lose weight.

"I still don't see how you think eating more at breakfast is going to help you lose weight," Miyeon gave my plate of food the stink eye.

"I eat like a queen for breakfast, normal for lunch, and like a peasant for dinner," I recited again, "That's how Pilsuk lost all her weight."

"Pilsuk?" Song-E chuckled, "You mean IU's character on Dream High?"

I pouted, "Yeah, so?"

"Concept-wise, it's probably already working… But why do you want to lose weight when all we do is exercise? You're going to be a twig by the end of our training days," Jaesoon said with her voice slightly concerned.

"Seriously, Jinhwa, you don't really need to lose weight," Miyeon said while watching me eat my plate in its entirety.

"I have chubby thighs and love handles," I said after a swallowing a bite, "Nothing a few weeks on a diet and hard work on the dance floor won't fix."

"As long as you don't take it too far, I don't see a problem with it," Song-E said with a shrug, "Whatever makes you happy, maknae." She still looked slightly weak, but she gained her color back. Maybe the weak look was coming from her guilt over Gikwang. It was still early, but I wondered if she had called him, or even texted him.

Jiyoon came in the door and held her chest with a smile, "Look at you four; eating your little breakfast at your little table. You're so cute." Then she stopped and laughed at me, "Good lord, Jinhwa, you look like a five your old. You have food all over your face!"

I put my hands on my face while I was still chewing my last bite, "I do?"

"Yeah, you're a really messy eater, Jinah," Jaesoon teased.

"I am?" I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and started to wipe my face.

"Wow, someone obviously grew up in the country," Miyeon teased and poked my forehead.

"Do we need to teach you proper table manners?" Song-E asked.

I blinked, "I actually might need you to."

Jiyoon chuckled, "There's plenty of time for that on another day, we have to get you girls back in the routine of practice—"

"No, it actually might need to be today," I pouted, "I'm going to lunch with someone who I have lots of respect for—"

Jaesoon squealed.

"—and I really want to make a good impression."

"Who?" Jiyoon asked.

"IS IT SUNGYEOL!" Miyeon grabbed my elbow and shook me side-to-side.

"Sungyeol? That sounds familiar. Have I met him?" Jiyoon asked.

"Sungyeol _from Infinite_, unni," Song-E smiled and winked at me.

Jiyoon blinked, "I didn't know you knew the Infinite guys! That's great! Maybe we can get some pre-debut publicity!"

"Can we worry about maknae's sloppy eating right now?" Jaesoon laughed and flicked my forehead.

My four unnis spent the next hour teaching me how to be proper at the table. I insisted it was all stuff that I already knew, but they kept catching me for really stupid things. Finally, though, we made it to practice. We were working with a choreographer in an hour, and Jaesoon insisted we were going to make him teach us Infinite's BTD dance.

"As _awesome_ as that would be, Jaesoonie," Miyeon sighed, "We could never do it. We can't even do our own routine."

"But they're two different styles! Come on, it'll give us something more fun to do," Jaesoon nudged me. I shrugged, but it did sound like a lot of fun. Jaesoon's phone started ringing, and I peeked on the caller ID when she was checking it. Doojoon. Miyeon was in her own little world, Jaesoon and I both checked. But Jaesoon didn't answer. Instead she lost all the color in her face and silenced her phone. About a minute later, it buzzed. Text. I really want to know what it said. While I sat dwelling about it 20 minutes later, my phone buzzed. Doojoon.

( Tell Jaesoon I really want to talk to her. She can at least text me back. )

I showed the message to Jaesoon. She rolled her eyes and showed me the message he had sent.

( We need to talk about some things. When you aren't busy, call me. )

"What kind of things?" I asked innocently.

Jaesoon sighed, "We'll talk about it later."

I scowled, "We can't talk about it now?"

"Alright, ladies," our voice coach smiled, "We're going to take a break, I'll see you at 2. Does everyone hear me clearly? 2 o'clock, everyone better be back in this room. We've got important things to work on."

Song-E nodded for the four of us and Miyeon popped her gum. I couldn't help but snicker at her.

"So we gonna dance now?" Jaesoon said excitedly.

Jiyoon smiled, "We're going to go work out! We have like 30 minutes before the choreo gets here. Let's hit the gym!"

Miyeon looked like she got hit by a train, "ARE YOU KIDDING? BUT WE'RE ABOUT TO WORK OUT WHEN WE DANCE!"

"It'll get you in fantastic shape for your debut if we keep doing both," Jiyoon said innocently, as if her suggestion was common sense.

"Not if it kills me first," Miyeon groaned.

Song-E and I chuckled at her, but Jaesoon was in the middle of what looked like a heated text. With Doojoon, I'm sure. I kept the attention on Miyeon to distract everyone away from her. It was obvious she was, at the very least, angry. She probably wanted to be left alone.

When we got to the gym, though, Jaesoon picked a treadmill in the corner. I followed her and ran at the one next to her.

"You want to talk now?" I said while pacing myself on the jog I was beginning. It felt good to run.

"No," Jaesoon said, unplugging the earbud that was in the way of our conversation, "But I will."

"What's going on?" I asked, "Between you and Doojoon."

Jaesoon was quiet for a minute, and the only sound either of us heard was the treadmill sound, the rhythm of feet on the machines. She stopped, putting a foot on each side of the treadmill and holding onto the handle bars.

"Last night, he said something weird," she said, clearing her throat and then stopping her treadmill and mine, too.

"Weird? How?" I asked, slowing down and catching my breath.

"He said 'I love you, but not in the way I want to.' Seriously? Who the hell says stuff like that?" she took a towel and wiped her forehead and the back of her neck.

"What does that even mean?" I asked, stepping off the treadmill to lean against the wall.

"Well, that he only likes me as a friend. Probably because of Miyeon… You never really heard the whole deal about that, did you?"

Truthfully, I knew a lot more about Miyeon and Jaesoon's triangle with Doojoon than Jaesoon thought I did, but it was for that reason I had to say, "No, not really."

Jaesoon took a deep breath, "We'll go 'take a jog' on the outside track and I'll tell you." We told Jiyoon that we'd be outside. Song-E tried to join us, but Jiyoon said she didn't need to push herself anymore tonight. Once we got outside, Jaesoon told me her story.

"Before, when Song-E was at Cube, Miyeon and I met Doojoon through her. Obviously he's gorgeous, so we both sorta fell for him. We both agreed not to get involved, though." She paused to look at me, and I nodded, "Well I sorta messed up. Doojoon asked me to critique his dance on their last promotion and it turned into us going to the movies a couple times, hanging out at the Beast dorm on their off time… the works. Then Miyeon started to come, and things got complicated. Don't get me wrong, I love Miyeon to death. I would choose her over Doojoon any day, she's like my sister. But I can't help but think things would have been different between me and him if she hadn't felt something for him, too."

I was silent for a minute, then said, "I get that. But what about Miyeon? What happened between her and Doojoon to make things so complicated?"

Jaesoon chuckled, "The same thing that happened with me. Doojoon either had identical feelings for both of us, or he played both of us the exact same."

I shook my head, "In all honesty, Jaesoonie, you and Miyeon have really similar personalities. I doubt Doojoon played you, he's a really good guy."

Jaesoon bit her lip, "He's an amazing guy. But I'm just not willing to risk me and Miyeon's friendship over him."

"And Miyeon isn't willing to risk it either," I assured her, "That's why she's been spending so much time with Taecyeon."

Jaesoon bumped into me endearingly and smiled, "I need to find me a buddy like that."

"You can have Sungyeol if you want!" I offered. Jaesoon just laughed. She had tears in her eyes, but I knew they weren't sad tears.

"Thanks for listening to me," she said sincerely and hooked her arm in mine while we walked back up to the gym.

"Anytime, unni," I smiled.

Around the time we got back up, it was time to go to dance practice. Jaesoon felt so much relief, I could feel it. It made me feel better, too.

It was already 10 o'clock. Sungyeol was going to be here around 12. I was getting anxious.

"Are we going to finish in time for me to at least clean up a little?" I asked before the choreographer got started.

"That all depends on how well you guys work today," he said calmly, "Now, Jaesoon insists we need to learn Infinite's dance. So we're going to try it."

"Is it hard?" I asked, "Be honest?"

"It's not that it's too hard for you guys, it's just that it's a different style than what we were aiming for. If you're more successful with this type of style, the company will still have to come up with a new image for you."

Throughout the entire dance lesson, I couldn't take my mind off Sungyeol. It wasn't normal. He had a really cute smile, when he really meant it. And I could still hear his little laugh. _And I bet he's actually really outgoing,_ I thought to myself. I was ridiculously giddy about seeing him.

Around 12, our practice was crashed by two surprise guests. Gikwang and Dongwoon. My heart sank. Would I have to turn down Dongwoon for lunch?

"Hey little maknae," he ruffled my hair, "Got time to take a break?"

"Hey big maknae," I pouted, "Not really."

"You guys can't break for lunch?" he chuckled, "That's intense."

"Actually we can, I just have other plans for lunch."

Dongwoon raised his eyebrow, "Do you?"

I bit the inside of my lip, "Sungyeol invited me—"

"Your new boyfriend?" Dongwoon was teasing, but he couldn't wipe the disappointment off his face.

"I'm sorry," I felt bad. I didn't think he'd show up.

"It's okay, I'm mostly here for Kwangie," Dongwoon looked around and so did I. There was no sign of Gikwang or Song-E, so I hoped they had snuck off to talk about what the hell happened.

"Is he okay?" I asked, finally.

"I guess," Dongwoon was blaringly obviously disappointed. But it was on a new level. I mean really, he was acting like I took away his birthday.

"Well, you wanna see how far we got in learning the dance to Infinite's BTD?" Miyeon asked, snaking her slender arm around his shoulder.

Dongwoon rolled his eyes and shrugged out of her grip, "Is everyone around her obsessed with Infinite now? Damn." He stormed out and Miyeon blinked a few times, still holding her arm awkwardly out.

"Um," she looked at me, "What bit him in the butt?"

"Something poisonous," I sighed, "I don't know what his deal is."

Jaesoon shook her head, "You're blind."

I chose not to fight her this time. I didn't want to get into this imaginary thing between Dongwoon and I that she seemed so adamant about. I was both worried about Song-E and excited about my meeting with Sungyeol. Dongwoon's pouting wasn't about to get in the way of that. I checked my phone. It was 12:17. Any minute now, Sungyeol would call saying he was on his way. I just knew it.

12:24—Sungyeol hadn't texted or anything yet. I'm sure he was going to soon.

12:38—I got a text.

( Hey, I know I said 12:30, but it's looking more like 1. Sorry. )

I was frustrated, but at least he said something.

( That's fine, but let's keep it local. I have to be back at 2. )

( You're lucky you're right down the road. I'll be there in 5 minutes. )

My frustration was lifting, and so were the corners of my mouth.

( Bet you can't make it in 3. )

( Challenge accepted. )

To my delight, not one, but two Infinite members showed up. Sungyeol greeted me with a friendly hug, like we'd been friends for years. Dongwoo, however, formally introduced himself to me before introducing himself to the rest of ATM. I thought Jaesoon was going to have a stroke. She couldn't stop smiling.

"You three are welcome to join us," Sungyeol said cheerfully.

"I'd love to!" Jaesoon said without missing a beat.

"I'm starving, so what the heck," Miyeon said cooly, "Song-E, will you be—"

"I'm actually going to lunch with Gikwang," she bit her lip, "But I'd love to come next time!"

Sungyeol smiled, "Absolutely. You all ready then?"

Jiyoon glared, "You girls better be back by 2… or at least 2:30."

"Don't worry, Jiyoon-ssi," Jaesoon slinked her arm around both Miyeon and me, "We'll be good girls and make it back in time. Right ladies?"

"Yes, of course," I assured her.

"I wouldn't dare miss practice, unni," Miyeon said.

Jiyoon just rolled her eyes, "Get outta here already."


	7. Chapter 7

"He's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, cause you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn't going to quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him he knows you could break. Don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect more than he can give. Don't analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there is always one guy who is perfect for you." –Bob Marley

Miyeon eagerly nudged me in the elbow as we walked to a café for lunch. Dongwoo and Jaesoon were talking ahead of us, nonstop chatter from both ends. As it turned out, they had a lot in common. But Jaesoon was still nervous, and we could both tell. She kept wiping her hands on her pants discreetly.

"So, how has your morning been so far?" Sungyeol asked with a smile. He looked like he was up to something.

"It was pretty good," I didn't want to mention learning Infinite's dance.

"Guess what dance our choreographer wants us to learn?" Miyeon smirked.

"Which?" Sungyeol asked, as interested as can be.

"Your 'Before The Dawn' dance!" she said excitedly.

"Really? Wow, that's awesome," Sungyeol seemed more flattered than I expected, "How's it going so far?"

"It's difficult," both of us said without hesitating, then I continued, "But we're having a lot of fun with it."

"That's the most important part," he smiled. I melted.

When we sat down inside, Sungyeol and Dongwoo convinced us to sit all the way in the back, as long as there was a view of the window. I wondered what that was about. Dongwoo didn't seem as mischievous as Sungyeol, but there was a slight smirk on his face like he was hiding something. I pushed it out of my head, and Dongwoo continued to talk but now they were talking in front of everyone. They talked about dancing, mostly, and then about old school music. Miyeon joined in to talk about rap, and Sungyeol and I just talked about his day.

"Did you have a busy morning?" I asked.

"Yes, but the rest of my day is done," he smiled, "We've been doing a lot of work lately. I wish they'd let us sleep and have us do it in the afternoon…"

"I totally agree," I pouted, "I don't want to work in the morning anymore."

"So how often do you guys have practice? Couple times a week?" he leaned on his elbow.

"No, every day except Sunday," I blinked, "Most of the time, we get in at about 9 or 10 and we don't get out until 6 or 7."

Sungyeol's eyes widened, "Wow, those are long days for a trainee group!"

I shrugged, "Are they? I don't really know…" I trailed off. Sungyeol's eyes went back to normal and a smile played at his lips.

When food came out, Dongwoo and Jaesoon were quiet for once. Dongwoo ate like he'd never seen food before and I knew Jaesoon was thinking the same thing. I had barely started my plate when Sungyeol practically dropped to the floor. He was ducking so low under the table, he eventually got out of his chair and pulled on Dongwoo to do the same.

"One of the managers is outside, get down!" Sungyeol said in a loud whisper. Dongwoo did. Jaesoon blushed, because Dongwoo was resting his chin on her lap to see out the window.

"Do you want your food?" I asked without looking under the table.

"No, we'll be back up any minute now," Sungyeol chuckled, then pat my thigh, "Thank you though."

"He doesn't see anything," Dongwoo said. Jaesoon swallowed and looked at us for silent advice. I just shrugged discreetly. Miyeon was really smiley and kept trying to get across her excitement without saying anything. I finally understand something she mouthed when I lip-read "you two are going to get married." I choked on the sip of water I was taking and laughed. I managed to keep the water down, but it stung the inside of my nose. Jaesoon and Miyeon laughed at me for my watery eyes and silent laughter, but they decided not to try to hide their laughter.

Sungyeol and Dongwoo resurfaced, and Sungyeol said quietly, "That was a close one."

"We had to sneak off to come eat lunch," Dongwoo explained.

"When I asked manager about having lunch with a friend later, he told me no. But I couldn't just ditch you like that," Sungyeol took a big bite of his food.

"You could've just texted me a raincheck," I said, "You're going to get in trouble now!"

"Are you kidding?" Dongwoo laughed, "We're always in trouble."

"Yeah, but what happens if they find you?" Jaesoon asked, concerned.

"They take us back to the dorm," Sungyeol shrugged after swallowing, "Not like they're going to beat us."

Miyeon was the only one who seemed to get a huge kick out of their escape, "How did you guys get away?"

Sungyeol smirked, "Dongwoo and I purposefully left our bags inside, and everyone was in the car waiting for us. So we snuck out the back, then I texted Sunggyu to tell him we would be back at the dorm later. I'm guessing they pieced together what happened, because the other members are texting us where we are."

"Aren't you going to tell them?" I asked, hoping Hoya would escape and meet us here.

"No way!" Dongwoo laughed, "They would betray us and tell the managers where we are!"

Sungyeol chuckled, "That's why I was a little late… Sorry, little one," he ruffled my hair.

I put my hair back where it should be, "Little one?"

"You're the youngest one, but that's just a guess…" he flashed a smile at me and I felt it float into the pit of my stomach and make whatever was in there flutter uncontrollably.

"She's our little one," Miyeon hooked her arm around my neck protectively, "Get your own."

"So, you are the maknae!" Sungyeol smiled, "And Miyeon, you must be the leader."

"Actually, Song-E is the leader," Miyeon seemed flattered that he confused it for being her, "I'm just the rapper…"

"Not JUST the rapper," Jaesoon nudged her, "Give yourself more credit."

"Do you sing as well?" Dongwoo asked.

Miyeon shrugged and nodded, "Here and there."

"She's being humble," Jaesoon patted Miyeon's arm, "She's a great singer, too."

"She's a triple threat like our Hoya," Sungyeol observed.

Miyeon laughed, "That's taking it too far. I'm always the last to learn our dances."

Jaesoon cracked a smile, "But once you get them down, you're better than you give yourself credit for."

"You know what that means?" Miyeon asked, "It means I'm good enough to get by without anyone noticing how actually terrible I am."

"That's not true," I said, "If you're terrible, so am I."

Miyeon teasingly shrugged, "Maybe we're both terrible."

Jaesoon rolled her eyes, "You're both great. Now hush." Dongwoo was staring at her and smiling. I wanted to know what was going through his head so bad. I discreetly watched him and Jaesoon interact for the next 20 minutes, but then we had to go. We tried to pay, but Dongwoo and Sungyeol split the cost of the whole bill between the two of them.

"Thank you," I said, "You didn't have to do that."

"I was the one who asked you to lunch," Sungyeol smiled, "it would be rude not to pay."

As soon as we stepped outside, though, someone grabbed Sungyeol. Dongwoo screamed and ran up the other direction towards our building. Sungyeol closed his eyes and whined.

"Stop doing this!" the man who grabbed Sungyeol said.

"Jinhwa," Sungyeol tried to reach out to me, "Help me!"

"Excuse me," Jaesoon said to the man, "We need his help to get back to our building."

The man stopped, loosened his grip on Sungyeol, and asked, "Where's your building?"

I recited the address of the mall a few blocks from our dorm, which was the opposite way of our building and the man looked as lost as we pretended to be.

"Please, let me go help them. You can follow us in the van if you want," Sungyeol struggled for the man to let loose.

"Fine," the man let go, "Don't try anything funny."

Sungyeol nodded and took us the opposite way of our building. Once the man had gotten back in the van, he began to give out directions.

"When we turn this corner up here, run until we get to the cell phone store, then make a right. It's not a street, so he can't drive up there, and if we're lucky there won't be any open parking spots. Then we can call Dongwoo and try to meet up back at your building."

"Would it be easier just to go back to your dorm?" Miyeon laughed.

"No, we want the whole day to ourselves," Sungyeol smirked, "You guys think you can do it?"

Jaesoon scoffed, "I'm almost positive that Jinhwa and I can outrun you."

"And Miyeon?" Sungyeol asked.

"Not so sure about Miyeon," Jaesoon teased.

"YAH! I can run when I have the adrenaline!" she defended quietly. As if he was going to hear us from inside the van. The corner was getting closer, and my heart was racing. It felt like we were criminals as this van creeped behind us scarily. We turned the corner and booked it about halfway down the street, made a right at the store like Sungyeol said. Jaesoon was in the lead, followed by Sungyeol, and I trailed back with Miyeon, but she eventually gained her confidence and we caught up to the two ahead of us. We heard shouting from behind us, and when I looked over my shoulder, it was coming from the van. The man hadn't even gotten out yet. We were in the clear. Once we got completely out of sight and back on the original course to the building, we slowed down. I couldn't stop laughing. Sungyeol snaked his arm around my shoulders.

"Thanks for giving him that fake address, it was wise thinking."

"Sure thing," I said, looking down at his hand on my arm as he pulled me to his side for a quick squeeze. Miyeon made a heart with her hands discreetly. I shook my head with a silent laugh.

"Jaesoon, call Dongwoo," Sungyeol still hadn't let go, and he reached in his pocket, "He thinks I'm caught so he wouldn't answer. But if he sees a number he doesn't recognize, he'll know I'm still with you three."

Jaesoon dialed the number Sungyeol recited to her, and Dongwoo was quick to answer, "Hey, it's Jaesoon, we helped Sungyeol escape. Where are you?" she immediately started laughing, "Okay we'll just meet you there. Yes. Yeah, we're getting closer. See you soon."

"He's already at your building," Sungyeol guessed. Jaesoon laughed and nodded. Sungyeol chuckled, "He's ridiculous."

"He was still out of breath," she laughed, "He's so CUTE!" she let slip. She quickly covered her mouth.

"OH? IS HE?" Sungyeol laughed, "Don't worry, if he hasn't figured out there's something between you two yet, he's stupid. We all see it, right ladies?"

Miyeon nodded enthusiastically, "All afternoon."

I laughed, "I didn't know you were even paying attention to them."

"Oh, I was," Sungyeol smiled, "I noticed when Dongwoo introduced himself to her first. He was obviously crushing."

I couldn't help but giggle, "Jaesoon, you hear that?"

"I hear you, okay?" when I looked at her, her skin was redder than I've ever seen it. Not just her cheeks, but her entire face, and even her arms. She was _hardcore _blushing.

When I looked back at Sungyeol, he was smiling at me. He quickly cleared his throat and dropped his arm, looking ahead. I smiled to myself and looked forward as well.

We met Dongwoo just inside our building and he was all smiles, "You made it!"

"Jinhwa gave manager a false address for the building so he won't find us for a little while. Wanna go shopping?"

"What time is it?" Dongwoo asked. All 5 of us checked our phones, and at least three stomachs dropped. It was 2:35.

"We have to go!" Miyeon screeched, "Thanks for lunch!"

"Jaesoon, wait," Dongwoo cleared his throat, "Can I keep your phone number?"

Jaesoon blushed again, "Of course." Dongwoo smiled and waved her goodbye.

"It was nice meeting the two of you," Sungyeol said to Miyeon and Jaesoon, "I'll be in touch, Jinhwa. Tell your manager I'm sorry for getting you back so late!"

I waved them both goodbye and rushed for the stairs. The elevator would probably be at the top level, and we only needed to get to the 3rd level. The three of us ran hard until we busted through the doors of the recording room we were to be in. 2:37.

"You're late," our coach said.

The three of started shouting out-of-breath apologies and bowing. Our coach just rolled his eyes and started lecturing us. Song-E was there, but she looked like she just got there so she was being lectured too. Jiyoon was in the corner, shaking her head and smiling. When our coach looked to her for her approval, she turned stern and nodded, but we knew she didn't mean it.

"Now, let's get started," our coach sighed, "I want you girls to try something new today."

"We're trying lots of new things today," Jaesoon smiled, "What is it?"

"I want you four to try to write a song to the track I'm going to give you. It'll be like a homework assignment. Would you rather work as one group, two teams, or individually?"

In unison, the four of us said, "One group."

The coach smiled, "I figured. I'm going to play the track for you, and you can get started. I want either one verse or some sort of hook by four." He played the track for us. Jiyoon bobbed her head to it, but there was a hidden feel to it that it felt like all four of us could feel. Our coach left a copy of the track for us to listen to at home and left us to go to a meeting. Jiyoon sat at the table in the back of the recording room and did some manager-y work.

"Do you guys feel like this song is hiding something?" I asked out loud.

"Like some sort of sad feeling?" Song-E asked, "Yeah, I can hear it."

"We should rearrange it," Miyeon chuckled, "We can write it to this beat right now, but Jinhwa has her guitar at home and we could rearrange it to go off that other feeling."

Jaesoon nodded, "That's a good idea. You up for it Jinhwa?"

"Yes, definitely," I nodded, "But let's focus on the chorus for now."

For the next hour, we played with lyrics and three-part harmonies. Song-E and I split the chorus in half, because the melody repeated twice. Miyeon sang the high harmony while I sang and Jaesoon sang the low. When Song-E sang, it was reversed. It turned out to be extremely affective because the sound of Jaesoon's voice and Song-E's voice went really well together, and the same with Miyeon and my voices. We played around with different lyrics, and different themes in general. The actual melody of our chorus, however, never changed. By four, we had reached our final chorus and had started the first verse. When our coach was back from his meeting, he listened to our chorus without the track. He frowned slightly. He must've caught on what we were up to.

"This could very well be a fantastic ballad," he said when we finished, "and the lyrics are very beautiful, and so is the harmonizing. But this song—"

"It has something hidden. It has a sad twang to it," I defended, "We want to rearrange it when we get home."

"On piano?"

"Guitar," Jaesoon answered, "If you hate the idea, we won't be taking up your time with it so it's not like it'll hurt anyone."

"If I hate the final product, you don't get to use your lyrics, either," he was waiting for us to make the deal.

"And if you like the final product?" Song-E asked.

"We'll go from there," he said vaguely. We didn't have much to lose, so we agreed. It couldn't be too hard.

When we got back to the dorm, I finally checked my phone, hoping for a text from Sungyeol. Instead, I just had two from Dongwoon.

( Sorry. Don't be mad at me. I'm not perfect. )

( Can you come over later? )

I sighed and texted back.

( Our voice coach gave us "homework." We're writing a song, but the four of us want to rearrange it. I don't know if I can make it tonight. )

He instantly texted back.

( I really want to see you, little maknae… )

There went my heart. I had this weakness to him that I couldn't break. And after hurting his feelings today, I wanted to make him happy again. I shot my idea out to the group.

"Woon wants me to come over later," I treaded softly.

"Well I thought we were going to rearrange the song and finish it?" Song-E said in her leader-voice.

"I know…" I sighed, "I just feel bad."

"You want to make things right," she said, "I get that. Is he home now or do you just want to go over there around like 7?"

It was only 4:30, and two hours should be enough for me to at least write some basic chords for the song and get in a good chunk of lyric-ing.

"No matter what," Jaesoon said, "We can't write a good, final draft of a song in one night. We're almost better off not trying to work on it for more than a couple hours."

"I agree," Miyeon said, "Songs take a while to perfect."

"Let's go work on the music then," Song-E said, "and then you can go over there, okay maknae?"

I nodded.

( Okay, big maknae. Gimme a couple hours, I'll meet you at your place. )

I could almost feel him smiling successfully. I hated that he had this hold on me. But he was my best friend. It wasn't just that, though. He was more like… well, we were different than best friends somehow. I just wanted him to be happy. No, not just that. I wanted to be happy, too, and he was the person who made that happen. In a way, I really—well, he really means a lot to me.

"So, how did things with Gikwang go?" I remembered to ask Song-E. Thinking about Dongwoon reminded me of the two of them.

She instantly blushed, "What do you mean?" Then I remembered the other girls didn't know they had a slight … burp in their relationship.

"Why are you blushin', unni?" Miyeon asked and poked her arm.

"I'm blushing? I thought I was just hot," Song-E laughed. She looked at me with true happiness in her eyes. Something good must have happened, and she was about to say it. Say those words, Song-E, the ones we all want to hear. "I'm glad you asked, actually… Because Gikwang and I decided to try this whole… boyfriend-girlfriend thing."

I'm positive all of Seoul heard our squeals.


	8. Chapter 8

So many questions. I felt horrible for Song-E but at the same time, I needed to know as bad as the other girls. This was a serious matter.

"Was it really like a 'decision' or did he confess to you?" Miyeon bounced when she asked.

Song-E thought, "Well he confessed—"

We all cooed.

"—and then we decided."

"Did he kiss you? Please say he—"

"I don't kiss and tell," Song-E said shyly, "But if you really want to know the answer to that… Let's just say there's a LOT I can't tell you."

We all squealed again.

"But didn't you think Gikwang didn't really like you?" Jaesoon asked.

Song-E shrugged, "He was good at making his point."

"What did he say?" I asked.

Song-E smiled to herself, "Well… I can't remember all the words he used. He was just really good at how he used them, and I knew he meant it. He may get a lot of heat for being "dumbkwang" but he's actually really intelligent."

"Yes, sweetie, you've only told us that 100 times," Jaesoon laughed.

"I shall call you," Miyeon paused, "Songkwang!"

Song-E laughed, "Why does it sound like you just named a puppy?"

"Songkwang is cuter than any puppy on this beautiful green planet," Miyeon hugged Song-E and squealed again, "I'm so happy for you unni!"

Song-E just kept laughing. Jaesoon took this opportunity to stare at me and say, "Now, if only Jinah and Dongwoon would admit to themselves—"

"Don't go there," I warned, "We're totally different."

"Is Gikwang as happy as you are?" Jaesoon said, changing the subject.

"He's extremely excited. But let's be serious a minute," Song-E cleared her throat, "This has to be a secret. As far as everyone knows, even the managers of Beast AND Jiyoon-ssi, Gikwang and I are still only friends. So don't let anyone find out."

We all vowed our complete silence on the matter, and Song-E continued to smile and gush.

When we finally got home, we all went straight to work on the song. We started with coming up with a basic chord progression by listening to the track we took home and converting it to a more acoustic sound. Next, we found where this sadness, this longing in the music of the song was coming from. I used that to form a pretty riff. After that, we easily finished the first verse's lyrics.

"This is turning out better than I expected," Song-E smiled, "Play it all together."

"Can I improvise some different melodies in place of this boring chord pattern?" I asked.

"You're the guitar wiz kid," Song-E laughed, "Follow your gut."

I began to play we all sang our parts. I played a few different variations of what sound I was looking for, hoping they would pick which one they liked best. I didn't know which sound would sound best.

When we got to the end of the chorus, we stopped. That was as far as we'd gotten.

"I like the second thing you did, when Jaesoon sang," Miyeon said, "That was pretty."

"I think Miyeon needs a rap here after the first chorus, before the second verse, and then we'll have a bridge after the second chorus and she can rap there, and then for a third chorus we can change the lyrics slightly," I suggested.

Song-E nodded, "Then we need to go for a key change. We'll work on that tomorrow. Miyeon, you focus on writing your raps."

Miyeon nodded, "So this theme we're going for is…"

I answered her with how I felt the first time I ever heard the track, "Loving someone you can't have."

Jaesoon stared at me, but didn't say a word. I ignored her eyes, because I knew what they were saying to me. That's not what I wanted to hear right now. Not when I was about to go see Dongwoon.

"Keep thinking of good ideas for the music, okay Jinah?" Jaesoon said with a smile.

"You wanna go now?" Song-E said, "It's not 7 but I think we've covered a lot of ground tonight."

I nodded, "I'll call big maknae." I blushed. I didn't mean to call him that in front of the others.

Jaesoon laughed, "I THOUGHT that's what I heard you call him earlier!"

"Big maknae? And he calls you little maknae?" Miyeon chuckled, "That's adorable."

Song-E smiled, "Go call big maknae, little maknae."

I kept blushing and got up to go call him. He answered on the second ring.

"Hey," he said, less enthusiastic than usual.

"You at home?" I asked, normal tone.

"Yes, are you on your way?"

"I'll be there soon," I said, "Do you want to hear any of the song we wrote?"

"Just bring your guitar." Click. What the heck? What kind of mood was he in? Was going over there going to make it better or worse? Either way, I know he wanted me over, and now. I just shook my head.

"Hey Jinhwa, can you come here a minute first?" Song-E said from our room.

"Yeah, unni?" I asked.

"Shut the door," she said quietly, "Listen… The stuff I said about Gikwang to you…"

"You didn't mean it?"

She half-smiled, "I didn't. Once I admitted to myself what I really wanted, things went so much easier between us. And now I'm happy. And even if we can't make it work forever, I know we'll still be awesome friends because that love will always be there."

I smiled, "I'm happy for you, unni."

"You're missing my point," she said, no longer smiling, "I'm trying to help you."

"Help me with what?" I asked.

"You know, Jinhwa. We all know. You just can't admit it." Song-E sank onto my bed, "If you're just honest with yourself, you can make this easier on everyone."

"I'm not making it difficult on anyone," I said defensively.

"Think about that seriously, and then stand by it," Song-E said, "You can go."

On the walk to Dongwoon's, my guitar on my back, I thought about the things I really wanted. I wanted to debut. I wanted to sing. _No, Jinhwa, think about what you really want with Dongwoon_. But I couldn't. I wanted everything to stay the way it was… But could I honestly say that I didn't sometimes wish he'd just kiss me? I told myself those were just unnecessary feelings. Dongwoon was hot, there was no doubt about it, and that's where those feelings came from.

Damn. I was making excuses for the way I felt instead of being honest like Song-E said. I didn't have time to sort out my feelings right now. I was at his door.

I didn't even knock, and he opened the door and let me inside.

"Hey big maknae!" I said cheerfully. He gave a half smile and shut the door. "You sounded sad on the phone. Are you okay?" I pouted.

"I am now," he finally smiled for real, "I just thought you were going to be mad at me for getting jealous."

I took his hand and pulled him into a hug, "You wanna do lunch tomorrow?"

He sighed, "That's not the issue."

"I know."

"The issue isn't even that you're hanging out with someone new," he said quietly.

"I know."

Dongwoon pulled away from me, "I guess I don't need to say sorry, because you already know that, too, right?"

"Don't be bitter," I said, "It's not going to make either of us feel better."

"I suppose you know how I feel all the time, too," he walked away into the kitchen.

I took my guitar off my back and took it out of the bag. I sat on the couch and took a deep breath, then started playing our new song. I let everything just flow out. I even sang a second verse that I simply made up on the spot. I saw the reflection in the TV of Dongwoon standing in the doorway as soon as I started singing. I stopped after the second verse.

"Sing the chorus again," Dongwoon said. So I continued to play and I sang the second chorus. Then I stopped and rested my forehead on the body of the guitar. I felt Dongwoon's weight plop down next to me on the couch and his arm behind me. "It's beautiful."

Without looking up, I said, "Jaesoon and Miyeon sing the first verse, Song-E and I sing the chorus. I wrote the guitar stuff."

"It's truly beautiful," he moved some hair from my face, "are you going to accept an apology if I give you one?"

"If you mean it."

"Will you look at me?"

I turned my face to look at him. He was closer than I thought. "Yes, oppa?"

"I'm sorry," he almost whispered it. There was that feeling again. That one where I just wanted him to kiss me. "I'm sorry," he repeated, "for hurting you. Twice in one day."

"It's okay," I said, not moving. I wanted him to read my mind.

"Jinhwa…" Dongwoon's face was an inch or two away. I could feel his warm breath on my lips. His phone started ringing. He didn't move, but he took a deep breath.

"You gonna get that?" I asked, begging inside my head for him to say no. But he sighed and reached into his pocket, moving a good foot away from me. I closed my eyes and sighed and he answered.

"Is it important?" he paused, "It should be under the sink, if it's not I don't know where it is. Just ask Doojoon, I'm sure he used it last. Yeah. Bye." Dongwoon threw his phone onto the table in front of us.

"It was Yoseob, asking where I put his hairdryer," he said, clear annoyance in his voice. Thanks, Yoseob, for interrupting a breakthrough for me.

I cleared my throat, "You eat yet?"

"Not yet," he coughed and stood up, heading back for the kitchen, "I was just going to heat up another one of your dishes."

"I can make something fresh if you want," I offered.

"I don't want any of your food to go bad," he said, pulling out a random container and dishing some up for both of us. He put one bowl in the microwave first, then handed it to me. It was the bowl with more in it, so I made him take it.

"I'm seriously not that hungry," I assured him. He smiled.

"You're never this hungry," he laughed, "Silly me I guess."

Silly me. Silly me for not kissing him when I could. If I choose, I didn't have to play this "tread soft" game anymore. I could grab Dongwoon by the shirt collar and kiss him. In fact, I knew that's what I wanted. But I was risking a lot more than I wanted. I would be throwing a piece of me out there that could be broken, and that idea scared me a lot. I was someone who had just become whole—and I owed a lot of that to Dongwoon. If I lost him, not only would it completely break that one huge piece of me, it would crack every _other_ piece of me. He was the super glue that kept me together. The thought of losing him really got to me.

"Jinhwa, are you okay?" he put his hand on my shoulder. I was staring at the kitchen counter, and I know my eyes must have been glazed over or something.

"I'm not going to lose you, am I?"

Dongwoon looked like he had been slapped, "What? How would you lose me?" I shook my head but he touched my face, "Talk to me. What are you thinking?"

How badly I want to kiss you. "I just don't want to screw things up."

Dongwoon was frowning, "You're not going to."

"Everything is perfect the way it is, right?" I asked.

Dongwoon's voice sounded overly confident, "Course it is. Everything between me and you is… absolutely perfect just like this."

"You're lying," I said, tears starting to fill my eyes, "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't want more." Dongwoon looked me in the eye, but didn't speak. I stared back until the microwave beeped. I sank into one of his counter stools and put my face in my hands. Dongwoon grabbed my shoulder and spun me to face him. He looked frustrated. He moved my legs apart to get closer to me and grabbed my face in both hands. He stared at me for a minute, my eyes filling with tears.

"Stop crying." There was so much tension between us at that moment, and neither of us even flinched. He kept staring me down, and I could feel the tears about to fall. To avoid it, I sniffed. Dongwoon cracked a smile and hugged me. After more silence, he sighed. "Of course I want more. But we're not the same as Gikwang and Song-E. They've had their feelings for each other figured out for a long time."

"So you don't—"

"I'm not saying that," Dongwoon held me back to look at him again, "You know that I'll always love you. I just need to figure out what kind of love that is. You understand, right?" I wanted to be hurt, to be angry even. But that funny thing is I completely understood where he was coming from. So I just nodded. He hugged me again and kissed the side of my head. My chin was resting perfectly on his shoulder, and I reached around him to grab the bowl of food and started eating.

Dongwoon laughed, "Okay let me escape."

"Hold on, I'm eating," I said, teasingly keeping him trapped in my arm.

"I will tickle you," he threatened.

"If you tickle me, I'll choke!" I whined, "Do you want to kill me?" Dongwoon groaned, standing limply in my arms while I ate. "Sorry being so close to me is so torturous."

"I'm hungry too~," he whined, "I want fooooood."

I let him go and when he turned to grab the food from the microwave, I playfully kicked him in the butt. He glared at me over his shoulder but there was a smile playing at his lips.

Truthfully, I knew Dongwoon was closer to figuring out his feelings for me than I was. I knew he was holding back for my sake. And I knew I could wait. He was right—we weren't like Song-E and Gikwang. But if he kept smiling at me like that, kept touching me like that… we were on the right track.


	9. Chapter 9

"Okay, let's try with the music this time!" our choreographer was all smiles. We hadn't had a good dance practice in weeks, but today we were all on top of things. He played the music for Infinite's Before The Dawn. Today was the day we finally mastered the scorpion move. It took a lot more leg muscle than Infinite let on, but we managed. Our final obstacle was synchronization. We all had different interpretations of the tempo, clearly. So, we had been practicing without the music, following the tempo of our choreographer. After our tempo practice, though, we got a lot closer to nailing it than we had before. We had edited a few of the moves to make up for the three members we lacked, and watching it in the mirror actually made it look pretty cool. When we finished, we held our positions until the choreographer cued us.

"That was ALMOST perfect," he said brightly, "You should definitely tell your Infinite friends."

Jaesoon blushed. Since meeting Dongwoo, they had done nothing but text, all day every day. They didn't have a lot of free time, though, and since Sungyeol and Dongwoo had escaped, they were on a sort of lock down.

"You should tell Infinite's manager to let them come watch," Miyeon laughed.

"I've already talked to their choreographer, he wants to see my abridged version," he laughed, "Only because we're pretty good friends."

"You're friends with Infinite's choreographer?" I asked.

"You guys are a bunch of fangirls," he shook his head.

"I want to meet Myungsoo," Song-E folded her hands and bounced slightly.

"I still haven't met Hoya," I pouted, "I tried but Sungyeol keeps getting all jealous."

"They're planning a comeback, but don't tell anyone I told you," Jiyoon said casually, "Seriously, if anyone found out, they'd trace it back to me and I'd be dead."

"A COMEBACK?" Miyeon began to squeal excitedly.

"Dongwoo already told—"

"AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US?" Song-E pointed her finger at Jaesoon, "THAT IS VALUABLE GROUP INFORMATION. Next time, don't keep secrets."

"Sungyeol didn't tell me anything!" I pouted.

"Well Dongwoo and Jaesoon are going to get married so—"

"You're so full of crap, Miyeon," Jaesoon nudged her.

"Okay ladies, take a water break, I can't deal with your fangirling," the choreographer said, "We'll come back and see if we can't make this perfect. Then take the afternoon."

Jiyoon laughed, "Excuse me? Take the afternoon? Like, they can go home?"

"That's what I said," the choreographer didn't even blink, "They had a good practice today, we made a lot of progress, no need to start something new today?"

"And if they were debuting say, oh I don't know, in two months? Would they get to go home early?" Jiyoon sounded more bitter than usual today.

"Well, no. But I haven't gotten any wind of the debut being bumped up, so… they can have the afternoon," the choreographer stared blankly at Jiyoon. She hated being undermined like that, so she just crossed her arms and walked out. The four of us looked at each other. Miyeon and I were scared, Jaesoon was trying not to laugh, but Song-E looked worried.

"You know, there's a very clear reason they made you leader, unni," I said. Song-E wasn't really listening to me. She grabbed her bottle of water and followed Jiyoon out into the hallway.

"Do you think we're in trouble, unni?" Miyeon asked Jaesoon.

"Do you think Jiyoon is mad at us?" I asked her, too.

"Hell, I don't know," she said, smile fading, "Let's just see if Song-E finds out anything."

"Didn't Jiyoon say something about a board meeting this morning?" I asked, remembering her being frantic at breakfast.

"Oh, that's right… You don't think they're going to drop us, do you?" Miyeon bit her lip.

"No," Jaesoon said without budging, "We're way too talented. It's probably another budget thing. You know how they always worry about money."

I nodded and checked my phone. Dongwoon and I were talking about Beast's upcoming comeback.

( We chose our title song. It's awesome. )

"Beast chose the title song for their comeback," I smiled.

"Tell them we want to hear it!" Miyeon said eagerly.

( When do we get to hear it? )

( When we release it… ;P )

"Dongwoon said we can't hear it until it's released," I pouted.

"Use your maknae charm on him. It always, _always_ works," Jaesoon said, "But you have to wait until you're there in person."

"Right! Maknae charm! I'll get us that song."

Miyeon and Jaesoon went to stretch in the corner and I heard the door open again. Song-E came back in looking even more worried than before.

"Did Jiyoon tell you anything?" I asked, since no one else seemed to notice she was back.

Song-E looked at me, then forced a smile, "Everything's going to be fine."

"Is it that bad?" I asked. Song-E patted my shoulder and went to join Miyeon and Jaesoon.

My phone vibrated again, but this time it was Sungyeol.

( My manager's letting us go out tonight. Do you and the other girls wanna come with us? )

Any worry that I had vanished.

"Hey, guys… you wanna go out tonight?" I asked and passed around my phone around.

"Where are we going?" Song-E asked with a smile.

"Who cares? I'm in!" Miyeon said excitedly.

"Jae-jae?" I asked Jaesoon.

"Well, duh," she laughed.

I texted Sungyeol back.

( All four of us are in. Where are we going? )

( We all want to go to a club! Can we meet you at the café by your building? )

I felt giddy for some reason. Sungyeol and I hadn't made any plans since having lunch, and I worried that he decided I was no fun or something. Besides, I had never been to a club. Oh wait…

( I don't know if I'm old enough to go to the club. ; n ; )

( Doesn't matter, you're with us. )

"Um.." I coughed, "They want to go to a club."

"How are we supposed to get in? None of us are old enough," Jaesoon pouted.

"Sungyeol said it doesn't matter because we're with them. Do they get special idol treatment or something?"

"Keep your voice down," Song-E said, "We'll be able to get in but we have to make sure Jiyoon-unni doesn't find out."

"Are you going to invite Gikwang?" I whispered.

"No, he needs to get his rest. They've been kicking their butts lately, I haven't even been over there in two days." I pouted for her and she just shrugged, "It's life. We have a date tomorrow."

We all smiled and giggled. Date. They were _dating._ How precious.

Miyeon sighed, "I want to invite Taec, but they're working on a comeback, too!"

We all stared at her angrily, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU DIDN'T TELL US THAT."

She smirked, "Just found out today."

"And you were getting all mad at me!" Jaesoon defended, "Miyeonie was harboring important information, too!"

"You two sicken me," I pretended to be upset and glared at them while I sipped my water. Sungyeol texted me again though, and I felt the bubbles again. I was calling my feelings "the bubbles" because when he said something or texted me, I felt like bubbles filled up in my stomach.

( So are you coming? Meet you at that café at 9? )

"Is nine okay?" I asked quietly. Everyone nodded.

( 9 is good. See you then. Don't be late this time. )

( I won't! In fact, just to prove a point, I'll be early! )

I smiled to myself before the choreographer called us back to our battle stances—I mean, positions. After three more BTDs, we had finally perfected it. At least for the day.

"Great job, kiddies. Now collect your things and go home. And REST because we're starting a new dance tomorrow. A real dance. An ATM dance. So, if you guys care about anything I say at all, go home and use your free time to rest."

We all agreed, but inside we were laughing.

As we were leaving, Song-E asked, "Jinhwa, you wanna come with me to the Cube building? I wanna stop in and see Gikwang."

My stomach flipped, "Yeah, do you think they've eaten anything yet?" It was 1:30, but knowing them, they hadn't eaten at all.

"Call Dongwoon. Anyone else want to join us?"

Miyeon and Jaesoon were both silent. Things with Doojoon had gotten even more awkward over the past few days. He told Miyeon one thing and Jaesoon another thing. I wasn't clued in on the details yet, but I was waiting on Dongwoon to tell me. All I knew was that, according to Jaesoon and Miyeon both, it would take a while for them to trust Doojoon again. As for each other, the two were as close as ever.

"Miyeon and I are getting our nails done, actually," Jaesoon said after the awkward silence.

"Okay, then we'll just meet you two at home later," Song-E smiled and we parted ways after saying goodbyes. The four of us were weird. We always said goodbye like we were leaving for months, even if we'd only be apart a few hours. For four girls who do everything together, it was always a big deal to be separated.

Once we were on the way to the Cube building, Song-E sighed.

"Something wrong unni?" I asked.

"Don't get mad at me…" she began.

"I'm listening."

"Dongwoon wants me to talk to you," she said cautiously. I was quiet, waiting for her to go on. "About Sungyeol."

"We're just friends."

"I know that," Song-E said, "But he asked me to try to convince you not to let yourself fall for him or something."

"You honestly think—"

"I'm not the only person who sees your face when Sungyeol texts you."

I scowled, "Why does it matter? If I end up liking Sungyeol then I can't help it."

"I know, I just want you to know that Dongwoon is really nervous about it," Song-E said, still cautious.

"He shouldn't be," I said quietly, "But how am I supposed to figure out my feelings if all I know is what it feels like to be friends with Dongwoon? I'm not going to hold back because he can't make up his mind about me. About us."

"You're too smart for your own good, maknae," Song-E sighed, "I know where you're coming from, and I'm on your side. As long as you realize that—"

"That Dongwoon and I are like two peas in a pod?" I smiled.

Song-E continued, "That you'd be putting a lot on the line for a guy you just met if you gave up on Dongwoon."

"I would never give up on Dongwoon," I said quietly. It was true. Dongwoon would always have a special place in my heart. But does that mean I would give up another opportunity, one that may actually really mean something, for something I can't even have?

I pushed the thinking out of my mind. I was just excited to see the boys.

When the manager let us in Beast's practice room, Gikwang lit up. "Jaa—" he started then Song-E started to blush, "Hey Song-E."

"Little maknae!" Dongwoon snuck up and hugged me around the neck from behind.

"Yaaaah, I'm not you're little brother!" I tried to escape from his death grip.

Suddenly, I knew why I was brought along. Gikwang and Song-E disappeared and I was stuck being everyone's distraction. That little—

"Jinhwa!" Yoseob was sitting in a rolling chair. He rolled over to where Dongwoon and I stood, "How's training? Oh, and I hear you're dating that guy in Infinite."

"You're just saying that to—"

"Mess with Dongwoon—"

"It's not nice," I pouted, "His name is Sungyeol and he's seriously just a friend of mine. Jaesoon is getting kinda flirty with one of the members, though," I laughed a little. Doojoon perked up and then looked at Yoseob as if trying to signal him.

"Which member?" Yoseob asked innocently. I didn't look at Doojoon, but I knew he was listening.

"Dongwoo," I said and cleared my throat, "They're actually going out tonight." I didn't bother mentioning that everyone was going out with Infinite, because I wasn't supposed to.

"What about Miyeon?" Junhyung asked, appearing out of nowhere, "Who's she seeing? Taecyeon from 2pm still?"

"They're not seeing each other," I said innocently, "They do hang out quite a bit though. They're close like me and Woonie." I chose now to look at Doojoon. He had been eating, and now he wasn't. A part of me felt a little bad, but another part of me had this strong urge to keep it up to protect my group. "But I can tell he really likes Miyeon."

"Does she like him?" Yoseob asked, "Cuz Miyeon is hot."

I laughed, "I don't know, probably. Taecyeon is pretty hot, too."

"What are you doing tonight, little one?" Dongwoon put his palm open on the top of my head and turned me to face him, causing me to ignore the rest of the group.

"I'm sleeping," I laughed, "Manager's orders!"

"You can sleep when you're dead," he smirked, "Come over."

"I can't tonight," I said and pouted, "I will soon."

Dongwoon nodded, "I'm proud of you. You're taking this seriously, that's important."

I could only smile. It was such a lie, and I felt bad about it. But Dongwoon probably wouldn't find out, and that was probably for the best.

Song-E and Gikwang reappeared and then she decided we needed to let them get back to work. I said my goodbyes to everyone, Dongwoon making sure he practically suffocated me in a hug before ruffling my hair.

"I told him we were going," Song-E said the minute we got outside.

"WAAHH! But I lied to Dongwoon about it, what if Gikwang tells him—"

"He won't, I already made him promise," Song-E said, "I just didn't want to lie to Gikwang about it. He wouldn't lie to me about anything."

I sighed. I was a terrible… friend.

It was getting closer and closer to time to meet Sungyeol, so I got ready. Miyeon helped me find some clothes to wear, because I had no idea.

"Taec and I go to clubs sometimes," she said smiling, "This! This is good!" She handed me a black, sleeveless shirt that gathered up the spin and had sequins going in straight lines down the front. She made me pair that with short white shorts and a pair of heels.

"Do I have to wear he—"

"Yes."

"But I'd rather wear these," I picked up my pair of black low-top converse.

"Wear the heels!"

"But—"

"If I were you," Song-E said, "I'd wear the heels."

I sighed and grumbled, but I agreed to wearing the heels.

Miyeon was already ready—hair, makeup, and clothes. She wore a tight blue dress that barely made it to her legs, but she wore black leggings to stay modest. Her hair was pinned half-back and curled slightly, and her makeup was smoky and club-appropriate.

Song-E went for something simpler. She wore a white tank top that had subtle green designs on it and a lacy back, jean shorts, and green converse.

"Why does she get to wear—"

"She's Song-E, she does what she wants," Jaesoon laughed from the doorway. She was wearing black skinnies, heels, and a silvery tank top. Her makeup and hair were also done. Her hair was up in a ponytail and she pinned her bangs back with a slight bump. Her makeup looked like it was just a lighter version of Miyeon's.

"Now I just look like I'm going to the park or something," Song-E laughed, "Oh well, I don't need to get hit on. I have a boyfriend."

"Don't you want to make all the boys jealous?" Jaesoon nudged her with her elbow.

"Not particularly," Song-E said with a chuckle in her voice, "Maknae, what are you going to do with your hair?"

"Leave it the way it is?" I said unsurely.

"You need to get it out of your face," Miyeon said, taking the liberty to pin my bangs back, "And now it needs more volume."

I unpinned my bangs, "I'll leave it like this."

She pinned them back again, "But you'll get hot and sweaty."

"Then it won't matter if my hair has volume," I laughed and unpinned my bangs again."

Miyeon just rolled her eyes, "Okay, maknae, you're in charge here. You two finish your makeup and we can go!"

It was already close to 9, so Song-E and I didn't spend too much time on makeup so we could hurry up and leave.

When we got to the café, Sungyeol was already there wearing a hat and sunglasses even though it was dark. He motioned us to follow him without actually talking to us. Once we got to a less busy street, he took off his sunglasses smiled at us.

"You guys look great. Dongwoo is really excited to see you, Jaesoon," he smiled mischievously.

Jaesoon blushed, but it was subtle. I took notice that Sungyeol was wearing fitted black pants and a nice button up shirt. He looked… hot.

We met up with the other members outside the back of a club. Sunggyu was inside, talking to the manager who he supposedly knew. Miyeon started to get impatient.

"I never have this problem when I'm with Taecyeon," she said loudly on purpose.

"Miyeonie," I said quietly, "Be nice."

Dongwoo was talking to Jaesoon, who was now almost his height. I overheard only part of their conversation.

"…been to a club before?" Dongwoo asked.

"No, actually, this is my first time," Jaesoon wasn't as shy as she was the first day.

"Really? I bet you'll have a lot of fun."

"Do you always have fun, oppa?"

"When there's a pretty girl in my sight," he smiled at her, "So I'm guessing I won't have any issues tonight."

Jaesoon played dumb, "Yeah, I'm sure there are beautiful ladies inside."

"I was talking about you," he said, even though he knew she was playing dumb on purpose.

Jaesoon blushed slightly, even though she heard exactly what she wanted to hear.

"Jinhwa," Sungyeol grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the door, "This is Hoya."

Hoya smiled at me and bowed slightly. I was speechless. Hoya was finally standing right in front of me.

"She's a big fan," Sungyeol said quietly to Hoya. I hit him. "Yah, what was that for?"

"You make me look dumb!" I said. "It's so nice to meet you," I bowed my head low for Hoya. He chuckled.

"It's nice to meet you, too. Are you ready for a fun night?" he asked, still smiling.

"Definitely!"

Finally, Sunggyu came out and began to let us inside. When Miyeon stepped up, the corners of his mouth rose into a smile.

"I don't believe we've met," he said, holding up the group from getting in.

"Miyeon," she said simply, "Nice to meet you."

"The pleasure is mine," he smiled fully, "See you inside."

Miyeon blushed a little and turned to look at me. I wiggled my eyebrows playfully at her and she bit her lip while smiling. She was instantly crushing. She already loved Sunggyu for his voice, but now she could see other things in him that she liked.

A hand snaked around my waist—a place where I wasn't expecting it. I looked up to see Sungyeol leading me straight for the dance floor. He smiled at me when we locked eyes. The bubbles came in like nothing I'd ever felt before. He leaned down to say something in my ear.

"Are you going to stand there looking dumb or are you going to dance with me?" even though he yelled it into my ear, I could barely hear him, so instead of verbally answering, I danced. Sungyeol's hands were on me practically the whole night. Whether they were on my waist, around my waist completely, or holding my hands, he was constantly touching me. I would be lying if I said I didn't like it. Jaesoon and Dongwoo, who were the two most likely to have been dancing, were instead at the bar talking. Miyeon danced with Sunggyu and Woohyun. Woohyun was all over the place in terms of dance partners, though. I would've liked to dance with Hoya a few times, but it looked like he had either left early or learned how to blend in really well. When I found Song-E, she was off to the side of the dance floor holding what I hoped was water. She was standing with Myungsoo and they looked to be pointing out things to laugh at on the dance floor. They were both laughing quite a lot.

"I'm going to get a drink, do you want anything?" Sungyeol said in my ear.

"I'll come with you," I said. He took my hand and pulled me through the crowd to the bar. He ordered himself something that sounded like it had alcohol in it, so I just asked for a bottle of water.

"That's no fun," he said with a smirk, "You're already out here, you might as well have fun!"

I looked over at Song-E again. If she was drinking water, it wouldn't be in a cup like that. I looked back at Sungyeol and sighed. He smirked successfully and ordered me a real drink. I would've been alright if that was our only visit to the bar that night. But many, many bar visits awaited us that night. But if I was already out, I might as well have fun.


	10. Chapter 10

"I GOT AN IDEA!" Miyeon yelled once we left the club, "LET'S DO THE BEFORE THE DAWN DANCE FOR THEM!"

"Why … are you ye—ew, excuse me-yelling?" Song-E asked through fits of laughter.

"WHAT?" Miyeon said, stumbling closer to Song-E.

"Girls, girls, please be calm," Woohyun said, trying to console them into being quieter.

"Sunggyu, you're so handsome," Miyeon hooked her arm with Sunggyu's and giggled.

"Miyeonie, I hate to say this, because I'm thoroughly enjoying it… but you're drunk," Sunggyu stumbled over his words almost as bad as Miyeon did.

"WHO'S DRUNK?" Sungyeol, who could barely stand on his own, stumbled across the sidewalk to Sunggyu's side.

"Everyone except me and Woohyun, it would appear," Hoya said, trying not to laugh.

"We're not drunk either," Dongwoo said, but he looked a little tipsy with his arm over Jaesoon's shoulder. She looked fine, though.

"Before the dawwwwn," Miyeon started to sing, "Befooore the dawwwwn!"

"Guys, seriously, you're way too loud," Woohyun tried to hold his hands over both Miyeon and Sunggyu's mouths as they continued to sing. "Did you seriously just lick my hand?"

Miyeon started to laugh hysterically, but her mouth was still covered by Woohyun. Sunggyu looked like he had something to argue with Woohyun about, so he lifted his hand to let him speak.

"You didn't sing your part like you were supposed to," Sunggyu said, genuine disappointment in his eyes. I noticed we had arrived somewhere, but I wasn't exactly sure where. It looked like Infinite's dorm or something. All 11 of us stepped into the elevator.

"You know what the best part is, Gyu?" Woohyun said, a small smile on his face.

"What's that?"

Woohyun smirked hugely, "You were the one who told us we'd have to do laps if we got wasted."

"I repeal my previous statement," Sunggyu cleared his throat, "No punishment those who become intoxicated."

"It doesn't work that way, hyung-nim," Woohyun said, "You made us promise and you promised too."

Sunggyu stared at Woohyun, their noses almost touching, and then Sunggyu started laughing hysterically. Miyeon started laughing again, too, which caused me to laugh for the first time in a while. Unfortunately, I couldn't stop. I hid my face in Sungyeol's chest to try to stop laughing but I couldn't. He was chuckling at me, and he rested his chin on my head.

"Wait, guys, we have to go home!" Song-E started hitting all of us, "We have to go home! Tomorrow we have early practice oh god we have to go home oh god."

I still couldn't stop laughing.

"Why don't you guys just camp out at our place?" Dongwoo suggested.

"No, no," Song-E started, "We have to go.. to go.." she blinked and looked at Jaesoon, "home. Back to the dorm. Got to."

Sungyeol nodded, "I'll help get you guys home."

"Better let me," Woohyun laughed, "You're still drunk."

"No, I need more fresh air that's all," Sungyeol hooked his arm practically around my neck. I acted like I was choking and Miyeon and I started laughing all over again.

"You two are _trashed_," Sunggyu laughed, "You probably should go home."

"I'll help you get home," Sungyeol said again, still slurring his words a bit.

I tried to speak through laughs, "Sungyeol yerchoking meee." This caused Miyeon to laugh so hard that you couldn't even hear her.

"I'm coming, too," Woohyun said, "Hoya, can you make sure the other guys get to sleep?"

Hoya laughed, "You guys are so dumb, really. But yeah, I'll get them in bed."

Sungjong threw his arms around Hoya, "HYUNG I CAN'T STAND ANYMORE! CARRY ME!"

"We shouldn't have let him come," Woohyun said and sighed, "We shouldn't have let any of you idiots come."

"I want to walk you home, too," Dongwoo said to Jaesoon.

"No, you go inside and sleep," she patted his chest, "I'll text you when we get home."

"Are you guys dating?" Miyeon asked, stumbling way too close to Jaesoon's face.

Both of them blushed, and Jaesoon chuckled, "Miyeon, you're drunk."

"Are you?"

Dongwoo looked extremely embarrassed, so Hoya cut in, "If that's what you call making out in the darkest corner of the club."

Miyeon cooed and the two somehow got even redder. Dongwoo pushed Hoya and shook his head.

Somehow, we made it to our dorm's block and I couldn't remember much of how it happened. The night had been full of lighthearted fun. I hadn't been this happy in a while. Song-E and Jaesoon were sobering up, but Miyeon and I were still very giggly.

"You're going to be hungover tomorrow," Sungyeol said. His voice wasn't slurring anymore, so I assumed he was also sobering up.

"No I won't," I said and giggled more.

"You will," he said, a slight chuckle in his voice, "but you better not blame me."

I blinked. I couldn't process his words right. We made it to our door and Song-E sighed and tried to find the right key.

"I had fun tonight, oppa," I said and stood on my toes to kiss his cheek. I missed. But I didn't mind—until the door opened.

"WHERE THE F—Jinhwa?" Jiyoon's voice went from worry to confusion. I jumped back and Sungyeol's eyes were huge.

"Sorry, what?" I blinked again.

"Where the hell have you guys been? No one answered the phone, we've been waiting for almost 3 hours!" Jiyoon pulled us inside and thanked Sungyeol and Woohyun.

"We? We who?" Miyeon asked.

The first thing I saw was Dongwoon's eyes. I couldn't focus on any other feature of his face, but his eyes shot right through me. I couldn't breathe for a minute. Did he just see that?

"Dongwoon, Doojoon, and me," Jiyoon said angrily, "What are you four thinking? Have you been out all night? Do you KNOW what time it is?"

"What the hell is he doing here?" Miyeon pointed at Doojoon.

"You wouldn't answer my calls, so I called Jiyoon because I had a bad feeling," he said with a scowl, "She couldn't get you to answer either."

"Did he just kiss you?" Dongwoon asked.

"Dongwoon…" I began, but I couldn't think of anything to say.

"DID HE?" Dongwoon stepped closer, his eyes still stinging me. I tried to focus on his lips instead, but they were just as angry. "What the FUCK, Jinhwa?"

"Woon, I—" I couldn't speak. I tried to come up with some excuse, but only tears came out.

"You.. you what? You kissed him?" Dongwoon yelled.

"Dongwoon, she's really drunk," Song-E put an arm around me and lead me to our room. I looked over my shoulder and tried to tell him what I was thinking without having to speak. I tried to plead with his eyes, to make them stop stinging me.

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK HOW DRUNK SHE IS," Dongwoon tried to follow us but Doojoon put a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't get why… why are you here?" Miyeon asked Doojoon again.

"Jiyoon was frantic, I came to make sure you guys were okay," Doojoon began.

Miyeon slapped him, "Don't come near me!"

Jiyoon grabbed Miyeon's hand, "Go lay down."

"NO, DON'T TOUCH ME," Miyeon shrugged away, "Why would you come here when you dragged both me AND Jaesoon around for MONTHS?"

"Miyeon, now is not the time to talk about it," Jaesoon said calmly, "It's not like that."

Miyeon looked confused, "Wait, you're on his side now?"

"Come on, let's go to bed," she sighed and looked apologetically at Jiyoon before leading Miyeon off to bed.

"Thanks for stopping by, jerk," Miyeon said angrily in Doojoon's face before she got completely dragged away.

Song-E helped me into bed because I was too upset to do anything for myself. She kept talking softly to me while she helped me into clothes, "Right now, just worry about sleep. Dongwoon will calm down overnight."

"Unni," I pouted, "I don't love Sungyeol."

"I know," she patted my cheek.

"I love Dongwoon, unni," I said, more tears coming on.

She sighed, "Close your eyes, hunya. Just close your eyes and sleep this off."

"He's going to hate me."

"He could never hate you," she moved some hair off my forehead, "He's just going to be upset. You can fix it tomorrow. Right now, just sleep."

I closed my eyes like she said and it felt like I almost instantly fell asleep.

The next morning, it was like someone had driven a bus straight into my face. I felt completely empty; I didn't dream, but I woke up only able to think about Dongwoon. I didn't really kiss Sungyeol did I? Right in front of Dongwoon? The one person I actually _wanted_ to kiss?

"Come on, maknae, we have to go in 10 minutes," Song-E said. She seemed fine. I wondered how Miyeon was feeling. Oh shit. Miyeon. I wondered what made her lash out at Doojoon like that (besides the alcohol). And even more confusing was why Jaesoon defended him. I didn't know what was going on anymore. Not with anything.

I slugged through the morning dance practice, barely able to keep up at a slow tempo. Our choreographer was clearly pissed at us. Jiyoon explained what happened last night, and he had absolutely no sympathy.

"You are… impossible. You think you guys are going to make it ANYWHERE if you pull this crap again?" he lectured, "I told you to go home and get rest. Instead you stumble in, wasted, at 2am? Are you guys that full of yourselves?"

"No, sir," we all answered quietly.

"Try it again from the top," he said, impossibly frustrated.

After 4 hours, he let us take a lunch. I tried to call Dongwoon, but he didn't answer. So I sent him a text.

( Please, Dongwoon. We need to talk. )

( Why don't you just go talk to Sungyeol? )

I deserved that. But he texted me again.

( I don't care that you were drunk. It still hurt. )

I didn't want to text-solve this.

( Please… meet me somewhere. )

( I'm busy. )

"Jinhwa," Jiyoon sat next to me, "They're on their break. Go down there."

"He doesn't want to see me," I said, feeling an overload of self-pity.

"Yes he does," Jiyoon said, "Just go." I looked at her uncertainly. "If you don't go, you don't get a lunch break."

I sighed and gathered my things. I didn't care that I looked like crap. I didn't care that Dongwoon was trying to avoid me. I didn't care that I was drunk last night, either. I felt awful. I wanted to make it right. I needed Dongwoon, and I couldn't stand him so upset with me. I couldn't stand him so upset _because of me._ I called him again when I got inside the Cube building.

"Are you here?" he asked.

"I'm downstairs. Can I come up?"

"I'll come down." Click. I waited what felt like an eternity by the elevators. 5 minutes. 10 minutes. Finally, the elevator made a ding noise and I stood up.

When the doors opened, I saw him. He looked normal. The same Dongwoon I knew, the same one I loved. And I didn't know how to express the guilt I felt. So I cried. I cried and Dongwoon wrapped his arms around me.

"Stop crying," he said. There wasn't the same soothing tone in his voice as usual. It was a very forced sound. But I couldn't stop.

"Dongwoon, I'm stupid. I know I screwed up."

He waited a minute, and eventually he let go and took a step back.

"Yeah," he sighed, "You did screw up. You're human. We screw up."

"You know I don't have feelings for him," I said, "I want to make all these excuses about what happened but it doesn't change anything. I just wish I hadn't even made that mistake."

Dongwoon was looking at his feet. I waited long and hard for him to say something—anything. Finally, he said, "I just don't know what to say." I waited again for him to say something. "Doojoon and I decided not to tell anyone what happened. Song-E was responsible, and she deserves to have fun with her friends. It's none of our business, and we trust her to stay faithful to Gikwang."

"Of course she will," I said softly, surprised at the sound of my own voice.

"As for you?" Dongwoon sighed, "I can't see you for a while."

"What do you mean you can't see me?" I asked, worried. He can't do this, can he?

"I mean, don't expect me to just say 'Aw, it's okay,' and move on. We were really getting somewhere, you and I, and then this? Now I don't know what to feel," he paused, watching my reaction: blankness. "I just want a little bit of time apart. So I can figure out what I want."

"But I love you, Dongwoon," I reached for his hand, but he took a step back.

"Don't.. just don't.." he said uncomfortably. Like I had some sort of disease.

"You can't do this," I said, tears spilling all over again.

"I have to."


	11. Chapter 11

"And that's all he said?" Jaesoon was rubbing my back while I forced myself not to cry.

"Yeah, and then he turned around and walked back into the elevator and left me standing there like an idiot," I struggled to form stable words, "I finally tell the guy I love him, because I do, guys, I really do. And now he doesn't know what to do with me. It's like I got leprosy or something."

"This is very typical Doojoon behavior," Jiyoon said and sighed, "I think he had a lot of influence on what Dongwoon said." We all looked at her. "He's being a baby because he's hurt. Rather than actually letting you SEE that he's hurt, he's going to ignore you."

"You and Doojoon are close?" Miyeon asked suspiciously.

"Not really," Jiyoon coughed.

"But I told him I love him," I put my face in my hands, like putting all this pressure on my head was going to let me let it go somehow.

"Alright, ladies, we have to get back to practice," the choreographer said. He was less frustrated now, and everyone seemed better after the break. Everyone except me. If anything, I was worse. A hangover felt good compared to feeling so awful about how bad I screwed up with Dongwoon. I constantly checked my phone for him to change his mind.

At about 2:30, my phone buzzed. I checked it immediately, but was let down. It was from Sungyeol.

( Hey… I don't know what happened last night. I guess we need to talk about it. )

I felt bad. In my selfishness, I had completely forgot about how Sungyeol was feeling.

( What do we need to talk about? :S )

I was nervous in his reply. I wasn't prepared to hurt him, and if he likes me, then it would just make me feel worse about everything.

"Jinhwa, please put the phone away," Jiyoon said nicely. We were almost done with our dance practice and I was finally getting it down.

"Jinhwa, come here," the choreo said, "everyone else take a break."

Great. He's going to yell at me because I keep sucking.

"I'm not going to yell at you," he opened the door to the hall, "I just want you to listen to me."

We got outside the building, in the fresh air. I'll admit, I already felt better. Being cooped up in a room of mirrors was anything but helpful.

"I know it feels like crap, whatever kind of drama you've got going on," he began, lighting a cigarette for himself, "Believe me, I know that sometimes shit gets out of control. But if you want some advice?" he took a drag and blew it out away from my face, "That should make you focus even harder on your work up to your debut. It's the best way to get a grip on every situation that you're in."

"So what you're saying," I paused and pouted in thought, "by working hard and focusing, I can gain control of everything else?"

He shrugged, "I don't know about that… but it'll definitely give you something else to think about."

I sighed, "I just know that my debut is so far away, and nothing I do to work hard can change that," I sighed and looked at my feet. I could only smell cigarettes. I felt like he was trying hard to make me feel better. He gave me a very awkward hug and patted the back of my head.

"Trust me, Jinhwa, it's going to get better. Hell, it might even get worse before that. But it always, _always_, gets better."

When we returned to practice, I decided to send Dongwoon a text.

( When you want to talk again, let me know. I'll be waiting. )

Later, I read four texts Sungyeol sent while I was at practice.

( You know what we need to talk about… )

( That kiss… )

( What was up with the kiss? )

( I don't want to lead you on but I don't know if I'm interested in that kind of relationship… )

Great. Not only do I have to deal with Dongwoon, I now have to deal with a weird situation with Sungyeol. Right as I was thinking about it, he texted me again.

( I can tell you have feelings for Dongwoon, and me texting you probably doesn't help whatever situation you guys are in now… If you get a chance, though, call me. )

I let out a huge sigh. Song-E looked at me, concerned, but she was about to walk out the door. She and Gikwang were going on a date, after all.

"You look so pretty, unni," I said with a genuine smile.

"Really?" she smiled, "You really think so?"

I nodded, "You're going to make him pass out."

She laughed, "Thanks, Jinhwa. What about you? Are you doing anything tonight?"

I shook my head, "I'm going to go to sleep. I'm exhausted."

"You've had a rough day, hunya," she patted my cheek, "It's going to be okay." I wished I could believe her.

When she left, I stayed in my room. I didn't want to talk to Sungyeol. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I spun my phone around on my hand, unable to fall asleep. I couldn't eat anything, even when I tried. It was like there was a huge part of me missing, because there was.

There was a knock at the bedroom door, and I heard Jaesoon's concerned voice, "Jinah? It's us… can we come in?"

"Sure," I mumbled. They opened the door and Miyeon immediately turned the light on and started going through my closet.

"We're not going to have you be upset like this."

"Get out of bed."

"Unnis, no," I covered my eyes from the light, "I'm tired."

"We're going out to dinner. Get dressed," Miyeon threw some clothes on the foot of my bed."

"I'm not hungry," I said truthfully.

"Then you can come watch us eat, we're starving," Jaesoon held her stomach and pouted.

"And someone," Miyeon glared at me, "chose not to cook tonight."

"Who else will be there?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"Just a couple friends," Jaesoon said, trying not to smile.

"Sungyeol won't be there, will he?" I groaned.

"No, he's busy," Miyeon smiled, "Sunggyu, Dongwoo, and Hoya will be there, though."

"Hoya?" I raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

"I knew that would motivate her," Miyeon looked at Jaesoon and patted my leg, "Get dressed. We're leaving in 20 minutes."

I wanted to be excited. I wanted to primp and be girly, be pretty. I forced myself into the clothes Miyeon picked out and put some makeup on. Twenty minutes later, we really were walking out the door. That never usually happens. We're usually late.

"You look great, Jinah," Jaesoon said, "Thanks for coming with us."

"You can't just go and stand Hoya up, I would've forced you to go," Miyeon said. Jaesoon gave her eyes and she continued, "What? She can't expect to feel better by staying at home and pouting!"

"Miyeonie, be nice," Jaesoon nudged her.

"No, she's right," I nodded, "I gotta get Dongwoon off my mind."

"Who's Dongwoon?" Miyeon asked with a smile. I had to let myself smile, too. I couldn't let this get to me.

We met up with Sunggyu, Dongwoo, and Hoya in a restaurant I'd never been to. We had to take the subway just to get there, which was strange because we both lived relatively close to each other. Maybe they were scared of being recognized.

"Miyeon-ah!" Sunggyu waved to us over to their table. Jaesoon was already making her way over to Dongwoo. Hoya turned and smiled, waving to the three of us.

_Oh my god, he's so cute,_ I kept thinking to myself, my inner fangirl trying to escape. _Oh my god, he's standing while we sit, what a gentleman._

"Good evening, ladies," Dongwoo said as he stood up to hug Jaesoon, "How are you tonight?"

Jaesoon smiled, "A little tired, but I'm good now."

"Now, eh?" Sunggyu teased and sat back down. I was surprised how good everyone's manners were.

"Me, too," Dongwoo said and smiled at Jaesoon.

"How about you, Jinhwa?" Hoya asked as Miyeon and Sunggyu dove into a conversation they were having before and Dongwoo and Jaesoon got talking about ATM's new dance.

I stirred my glass of ice water with a straw, "I'm alright. So what convinced you to tag along with lover boy one and lover boy two?" I asked before taking a sip.

"They said you'd be here, too," Hoya said, smirking like I was purposefully asking to get that answer. Like I knew he'd be coming all along.

"Really?" I laughed, and felt my face get a little red, "I didn't even know I was going until about 45 minutes ago."

Hoya's smirk fell and he looked embarrassed, "That's funny, heheh," he took a sip of water, "So what convinced you to come?"

I could lie and say it was because of him, but I didn't, "I had a really bad day that I'd like to forget about."

"So I'm assuming you don't want to talk about it?" Hoya said shyly. I had to fight not to stare into his eyes.

"No, not really," I forced a small chuckle.

Hoya cleared his throat, "Is it about Sungyeol?"

"Did he tell you?" I involuntarily glared.

"So I'm guessing that's a yes," Hoya bit his lip nervously.

"Yah, why are you asking me? I said I don't want to talk about it!" I said, genuinely angry.

"It's better than us inviting Sungyeol with us," he said teasingly, "Come on, Jinhwa, you were drunk so it was no big deal."

I paused, "It was a big deal to some people."

"Wait, do you really like Sungyeol?"

I rolled my eyes at how insensitive Hoya was being, "No, there were other factors. More to the story than what Sungyeol says."

"Sungyeol didn't say anything, Woohyun did," Hoya said, taking me seriously, "Don't get angry.. I didn't mean to piss you off."

I just stared into my glass of water until the waitress came over to our table.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked the other side of the table cheerfully. I looked off to the street, not really paying attention.

"Jinhwa," Hoya touched my hand, which took me back to reality, "What would you like?"

"Oh, I'm not hungry," I told the waitress.

"Jinahhh," Jaesoon said from the other side of the table, "Order something."

"No, no, it's fine. It'll just be a waste of money." I looked down and saw Hoya's hand was still on mine. My bias was touching me. Even if he had been pushy earlier, I could see this was his way of apologizing. He locked eyes with me for a minute, then smiled. My stomach flipped. Hoya shyly took his hand back. I knew for sure I was blushing. Miyeon could tell, too. She leaned to my ear and repeated herself from earlier.

"Who's Dongwoon?"

My stomach dropped. Dongwoon. Who was he? The one person I would trade everything to be sitting in front of me right now.


	12. Chapter 12

After eating dinner with Infinite, Miyeon and Sunggyu insisted on going shopping, but Hoya, Dongwoo, and Jaesoon wanted to go to a movie. I didn't want to be Sunggyu and Miyeon's third wheel, so I went with Jaesoon. Miyeon didn't seem to mind.

I didn't know what movie we were seeing, and I didn't really care. I was just there so I didn't have to be lonely.

"Does anyone want popcorn?" Hoya asked. All three of us blinked at him.

"We just ate," Dongwoo said, "But I guess if you're going to get some, I'll take some."

"Awesome! You guys go find our seats!" Hoya walked excitedly toward the food line while Dongwoo lead Jaesoon by hand to our theatre. I walked behind them while smiling. The way Dongwoo looked at her was contagiously sweet. There was a hint of a smile on his face at all times, especially when she spoke. He held her hand delicately, but soon their fingers were laced together comfortably. Like they fit perfectly together. Like puzzle pieces.

"So, Jinhwa," Dongwoo diverted his attention from Jaesoon for the first time all night to talk to me, "Interested in telling me what's going on with Sungyeol?"

"Nope," I said simply.

"Why are you avoiding him? He's not mad or anything," Dongwoo said lightheartedly.

"I'm not avoiding him," I denied, "I'm just not in the mood to talk about it."

"Hey, I don't blame you," Jaesoon said, leaning across Dongwoo so she could speak to me directly, "Leave her be, oppa."

"Sungyeol is my friend," Dongwoo said, "I'm just trying to help him out."

"Am I not your friend?" I pouted.

"You are. And you're Sungyeol's friend, too, so you shouldn't avoid him."

"I'm not avoiding him," I denied again, "Let me have a day, please."

"Fine, fine… But a day is all you get!" Dongwoo chuckled and turned back to Jaesoon. Watching them, while extremely cute, made me involuntarily think of Sungyeol. I wondered if he would have tried to cuddle up with me like Dongwoo did with Jaesoon. I wondered if he would put his arm around me during the movie like Dongwoo did with Jaesoon. I wondered if he would hold my hand like Dongwoo did with Jaesoon. Even after Hoya came back, I subconsciously wished I was sitting next to Sungyeol. Thankfully, Hoya kept whispering funny commentary to me throughout the entire movie. If it hadn't been for him, I wouldn't have enjoyed myself at all.

( Text me when you get a chance. I guess we should talk. )

Initially, I thought for sure this message was from Sungyeol, but after staring at it for at least five minutes, I finally believed that it was from Dongwoon. It had been two weeks now, and he hadn't returned any of my texts, any of my calls. Needless to say, my heart started to thump. Hard.

"Unni," I tugged Miyeon's shirt while she stood in front of me playing our new Wii.

"Sorry, am I in the way again?" she said, swinging her imaginary bowling ball towards the T.V.

"No," I paused, watching the ball on the screen go into the gutter, "Dongwoon texted me."

Miyeon spun around, "Really?" she sat down next to me, "What'd he say?" I showed her the text message and she scoffed, "Wow, can he be any more of a baby. 'I guess we should talk.' Yeah, Dongwoon, I _guess_ you should quit ignoring my maknae!"

"Should I wait or should I text him now?" I asked, clueless when it came to these things.

Miyeon thought for a minute, "Tell him you'd rather talk in person."

I took a deep breath, "What if he changes his mind, though…"

"What if who changes his mind?" Song-E asked as her and Jaesoon walked in from the grocery store.

"You're never making us go to the store again, maknae!" Jaesoon complained, "We don't know what half of this stuff is on the list."

"Dongwoon texted her," Miyeon said, answering Song-E's question and instantly reverting Jaesoon's attention to our conversation.

"What? When? What's it say?" Song-E finished setting down the grocery bags and came to sit with us on the couch.

"Just that he wants to talk—"

"It says, '_I guess_ we should talk.' Like, come on, he can stop being such a baby now," Miyeon said protectively.

"What would he change his mind about?" Jaesoon asked.

"If I said I'd rather talk in person, what if he decides he doesn't want to talk at all?" I pouted. This was too complicated for me. Why couldn't we just forget that any of that shit ever happened?

"He won't do that," Song-E said, "Don't you listen to me at all?"

Song-E had been telling me for the last week what Gikwang had been telling her. She said Dongwoon does nothing but mope and talk about me. According to Gikwang, ever since he ran out of the food I made him, he won't eat anything else unless he absolutely has to. And apparently, he fell asleep on the couch two nights ago with his phone in his hand, and his thumb ready to dial my number. I knew all this was probably true, but I still didn't want to push this. I wanted it to go as smoothly as possible.

"Just do it, Jinhwa," Song-E said. I stared at her for a second too long, and she grabbed my phone from my hand, "I'll do it."

I covered my face in nervousness. I felt my phone plop down onto my lap.

"There, it's done," Song-E said. Before I could even thank her, my phone started ringing. My eyes widened. He was calling me.

"Do I answer?"

"Yes, what's wrong with you?"

"You stupid or something, answer it!"

"What if he yells at me?"

"Just answer it!"

"Yeoboseyo?" I answered nervously.

"Come over. I'm done for the day. We can talk at my house," his voice was calm. He didn't sound angry. He sounded like himself. It almost made me smile.

"Right now?"

"Yes, please. Call me when you're close… Also, you might be here a while…"

"Should I—"

"You might want to bring clothes for tomorrow, and to sleep in, just in case. It's already a little late," he said, extremely casual. I felt like this was almost going _too_ well.

"O-okay… I'll be over soon, then."

"See you soon… little maknae," he said the last part very quietly before hanging up. The others were looking at me expectantly, while I stupidly sat there with my phone to my ear. When I finally put the phone down, I had to let everything settle before they asked me anything.

"Well?" Miyeon finally asked.

"He wants me to go over there," I said plainly.

"No," Song-E said, "We have prac—"

"Get out of here, leadernims," Jaesoon said.

"Yeah, she has to go," Miyeon said argumentatively, "This might be her only chance."

Song-E sighed, "Do you promise to make it in time for practice?"

"I promise," I said, folding my hands in a begging position, "Please let me go, unni!"

She sighed, "Fine. Don't make me regret it."

Miyeon pulled me toward the room we were now sharing to help me get packed. She tried to pick out "sexy" pajamas for me, but I packed my "cute and comfortable" ones instead. For practice, I just packed a big T-shirt and sweats, against Miyeon's advice. She said they'd make me look sloppy, but I was probably going to be leaving before Dongwoon even got up, so I didn't care.

"What are you wearing over there?" she asked. I looked down at my T-shirt and jeans. "You can't wear that."

"Why not?" I pouted, "It's just Dongwoon… he likes when I wear this."

"Wear a nicer shirt at least," she whined.

"I don't wanna," I said, zipping up my large tote bag, "He won't care."

"Everyone on the walk over there will," Miyeon grumbled.

"Good thing I haven't debuted yet," I smiled and winked.

When I finally made it out the door, I was about to text Dongwoon to tell him I was on my way when I came face-to-face with the last person I wanted to see right then. Sungyeol was standing there with his hand raised as if he were about to knock.

"Jinhwa," he said simply, almost surprised.

"Sungyeol…" I sighed, "Now's really not a good time."

"You've been avoiding me for two weeks," he said, "I hate it."

"I'm literally on my way out," I said, noting my giant tote bag.

"I don't care at all," he said nonchalantly, "We have to talk."

"About _what,_ Sungyeol?" I said, very irritated. I started to walk off, only because I knew he was going to follow me.

"Jinhwa, stop," he said, then grabbed my arm, "Just come get a bubble tea with me or something."

I sighed, "That's it, then."

"That's all I want," he said, raising his hands, "Just bubble tea."

I groaned. I didn't care if I was making Sungyeol upset, I _really_ didn't want to do this right now.

"Just start talking now," I said with clear annoyance in my voice.

"When you kissed me—"

"I was drunk," I said.

"I know you were," Sungyeol said, getting annoyed himself now, "But I didn't take it seriously… until you started avoiding me."

I stopped walking. He wasn't about to do this to me right now.

"I realized how much I missed having you around when you weren't anymore… I guess what I—"

"Don't."

Sungyeol blinked at me, "Don't?"

"Don't. I cannot deal with this right now."

"You obviously feel something for me, too!" Sungyeol started to get angry, "If you didn't, you wouldn't have put forth so much effort in ignoring me. Instead you would've just laughed it off and so would I."

What he was saying made a lot of sense, but I blocked any feeling I had for him away.

"So you're here to find out _why_ I avoided you?" I asked, "I can't give you a good reason."

"I can give you a good reason. Because you didn't want to face me after I told you I didn't feel that way about you," Sungyeol took a step closer to me, "You can't deal with the fact that maybe, just maybe, there's someone out there who cares as much about you as you do about them."

"Yes I can," I said angrily, "And that person isn't you. And that's why you're here. Because that simple fact drives you crazy."

"You did the same thing to me that Dongwoon's done to you!" Sungyeol's voice rose enough that people were starting to look. I started to walk again to try to avoid their eyes. "Jinhwa… You're making this hard on yourself."

"You're over-thinking this entire situation," I said calmly. I had composed myself and repressed my anger.

"Because you gave me way too much time to think," Sungyeol was cooling off, too, "seeing as you haven't spoken to me in two weeks. The only reason you're not being direct with me is because you know you have feelings for me, too. And that's why you got so angry."

"No, Sungyeol," I said simply, "I got angry because this is the absolute worst time for this."

"There's never going to be a good time for it until you're honest with yourself," he said. We'd stopped walking again. This time, though, we just stood there staring at each other.

"Well?" I asked.

"Well, what?" Sungyeol asked.

"Is that all?"

He was frustrated, so he let out a single chuckle, "Yeah, that's all. Call me when you wake up." He pushed past me angrily.

I just stood there. All these thoughts hit me at one time.

First, Sungyeol was right. I had avoided him for the past few weeks just like Dongwoon had avoided me. I ignored every text he sent me, I sent his calls straight to voicemail. Even when Jaesoon invited me to hang out with her and Dongwoo, I declined because I figured he'd try to talk to me about Sungyeol. It wasn't that I was hurt—I was afraid of _being_ hurt. Sungyeol was the one who said that's not what he wanted with me. Talking to him wasn't going to change that. And if it did, how would I ever choose between him and Dongwoon.

Second, I thought about how crazy it was to compare Dongwoon and Sungyeol. I was on my way to Dongwoon's. I didn't care about Sungyeol the same way I did about Dongwoon at all, but that didn't mean I didn't care about him. Sungyeol was… a friend. Right? Yeah. Dongwoon was more than that. I would deal with this Sungyeol situation later—I had a bigger fish to fry. This Dongwoon situation had caused me to lose weight and a lot of sleep. It was making me physically ill. I texted him to tell him I was on my way.

( Hurry up, slow poke. )

I let myself smile as a tear fell from my eye. I didn't know where it came from. I didn't know who I shed it for. Instead of thinking about it, I just flicked it away as I headed towards Dongwoon's.

I didn't have to wait long at all for the door to open after I knocked. Dongwoon let me in before saying anything. He took my tote bag and set it by the couch. Then he sat down and patted the seat next to him. I sat down obediently.

He sighed, "Hi."

"Hi," I repeated.

"I don't want to be mad at you," he said simply.

"It's not as easy as just saying it. You can't help it if you're hurt—"

"I am," he said, "Hurt, that is. I am hurt. But I'm mostly hurt because I've been away from you for so long."

"Dongwoon…"

"I don't want anything like this to happen again," he said, "Let's just go back to before any of this even happened."

I thought about that. If I went back to before any of it happened, I wouldn't have told him that I loved him. "So all the things I said…"

Dongwoon cleared his throat, "The things you said… I'll admit, I had been waiting a long time to hear those words."

"But?" I said, expecting to be shut down.

"But if that's what it took to make you realize your feelings for me… I wish the kiss had been from me, is all," he wasn't looking at me.

"Believe me," I exhaled, "I do, too."

He looked at me finally, "Do you still mean it?"

"Every word," I said, feeling a lump forming in my throat.

"Me, too," he put his hand on my knee. I wanted to smile, but my eyes got teary instead. I was so confused about everything.

"You don't look happy," he said.

"I wish you hadn't ignored me so long," I said, trying hard not to sound strained when I spoke.

"I was pissed," he said defensively, "If you saw me kissing Yuri from SNSD, you'd be pissed, too."

"And I would probably yell at you like you yelled at me, and I would've probably slapped you. But I wouldn't have ignored you for two straight weeks. I couldn't torture myself like that."

"Fine, I'm a big baby. I'm sorry," he ducked his head to try to catch my eyes.

"Don't do that shit again, Dongwoon," I said, voice finally breaking and my eyes watering freely. He chuckled. "I'm serious, don't!"

"I love you, Jinhwa," he said, pulling me into a tight hug. I was shocked out of letting myself cry. Instead, a smile found my lips.

"I love you, too," I said quietly. He gave me a slight squeeze before pulling away. He had a brand new look in his eye. Our faces were almost touching. This was it. This was going to be the moment we kissed. I was ready for it. Nothing else was on my mind. All I could see, all I could breathe was Dongwoon. I waited for him to just close that infinitesimal gap between our lips.

"Finally," he said, "You finally admit it."

"Shut up and kiss me," I laughed. And he listened. His lips pressed into mine and it was like a parade began in my head. That thing people talk about—the fireworks. They really happen, you know.


	13. Chapter 13

The sound of a light rain tickled against the glass window. The sun wouldn't make an appearance today, but the light of the day was starting to peek through the blinds. I didn't want to get up. I had been awake a while; my head lay on Dongwoon's chest and I listened to his slow and steady breathing. But I was so comfortable that I didn't want to move. He was warm, and his body felt different than I imagined. Even though he had a muscular torso, he was soft to lay your head on. I always figured he was more like a rock—instead he made a great pillow.

I peeked up at his face. His mouth was slightly open, but no sound came out. I didn't _want_ to wake him up, but he begged me the night before to wake him up before I went to practice. I rested my chin on him and traced his bottom lip with my thumb. His eyelids fluttered a little but there was no change in his breathing or position to let me assume he was awake. I traced his upper lip, glad that I had waited before doing it. If I had to pick a favorite physical trait about Dongwoon, I'd choose his lips. Especially when he had his mouth slightly open like he did now. They were perfect.

His eyelids fluttered a bit harder and he took a sharp breath. I felt his shoulders tense as he began to stretch his arms. He blinked at me sleepily a few times and I moved my hand to his cheek instead of his lips.

"Wakey-wakey, sleepy head," I said as softly as possible. He yawned hugely and scratched his head.

"Is it really time for you to go?" he asked, voice still full of sleep.

I rested my cheek on his chest while he looked down at me, "Unfortunately…"

He cleared his throat and put a hand in my hair, "Well good morning, girlfriend."

"Good morning, boyfriend," I chuckled and pushed myself up from his chest, "I'm going to make some coffee, so take your time getting out of bed."

He rolled onto his side and watched me as I stood up and stretched out my back. "How about you just wake me back up when the coffee is ready?"

I laughed, "You don't have to get up. But I knew you'd be mad at me if I left you sleeping."

He stared at me for a minute with his arm under the pillow and his eyes still glassy from sleep, "No, I'll get up. I just need a minute. What time is it?"

"7:15. I need to leave in 30 minutes."

He started to yawn and said, "Just start coffee then come back in here." I nodded and started the coffee like he said. I took this opportunity to check my phone. It was in my bag that I had left by the couch. Initially, I was going to sleep there. But Dongwoon convinced me to lay with him for a little while. I didn't lust for him yet, but I was nervous for what could have been going through his head. Luck was on my side—we really did just lie there together. It was peaceful. There was no stress about anything anymore. Not between us anyway…

My phone had died during the night, so I plugged up in the kitchen to at least turn it on and check my messages. As it loaded up, it started to vibrate nonstop. One. Two. Three. Four… Ten. Ten vibrations. I shook my head. I had 2 voicemails, 6 texts from Sungyeol, 1 from Song-E, and 1 from Jaesoon. Really, Sungyeol? I knew who those two voicemails were from. I would listen to them on my walk to practice, but I could read the texts real quick.

( You're probably the most ridiculous person I've ever met. Stop fooling yourself and just call me back. )

( Okay, you're really not going to answer? Fine. )

( Look, I'm sorry… Maybe I just don't know how to take rejection. )

( You could at least text me back. )

( Your phone must be dead… even someone as stubborn as you wouldn't be this heartless. Just let me know when you get this. I want to apologize. )

( You know what? The only thing I have to be sorry for is the way I talked to you. But I still meant it. You and I have feelings for each other that we need to talk about. I'm not Dongwoon, but I could be something good for you if you'd let me. You don't even HAVE to let me. Just talk to me. Let's clear this up. I'll talk to you tomorrow. )

I sighed. Why did this have to happen _now_?

( Don't be late for practice tomorrow! I'm serious! )

( If you plan on doing anything, make sure you're careful! As in, wear protection! )

I blushed at Jaesoon's message. Did she think I was that kind of girl? How offensive.

"Jinhwa, where are you? I'm cold!" Dongwoon called from his room. I laughed and kept my phone plugged up by the couch to go join him under the covers.

"You're a big baby," I poked his sides and he hissed.

"Your hands are cold! I changed my mind, get out of my bed," Dongwoon teasingly pushed me with his feet.

"Yah, oppa!" I laughed, "Get your nasty feet away from me!"

Things were exactly as they used to be… except they ended in kissing.

I left a few minutes late, but what really killed me on time was the subway. With all the rain, the railways were much busier. It gave me enough time that, by the time I got to practice, I had completely forgotten about Sungyeol. I could hear the other girls behind the doors of the practice room, laughing. But there were more voices than I was used to in there. Male voices. Who was in there?

Sure enough, when I opened the door, there they were: all 7 members of Infinite, their manager, and their choreographer. Great. I avoided Sungyeol's eyes, stuffing my hands in my pocket looking for my phone. I didn't feel it anywhere. I set my bag down in the back while everyone kept talking and searched for it, certain that I had put it—wait.. where did I put it? I took it out of my bag, plugged it in the wall at Dongwoon's… then I left it there. Awesome. This day was going just spectacularly.

"Jinah, you're late," Jaesoon teased, obviously in a giddy as hell mood.

"I left my phone…" I said quietly, "Can one of you call Dongwoon and tell him to bring it to me on his way in?"

"Sure," Jaesoon blinked, "Oh, I don't have his number."

I sighed. I'd have to ask Song-E but she was talking to Jiyoon, Woohyun, and Myungsoo. In between their crowd and me was Sungyeol and the choreos. I could feel his eyes on me. It made me feel terrible because I still got that familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach when he was around. I was officially with Dongwoon now, but being around Sungyeol was still hard.

"Why are they here?" I asked Jaesoon, who had separated from Dongwoo only momentarily.

"Some sort of choreography clash. They wanted to see our BTD dance, too. Plus Jiyoon said it would be a good idea to get some good dance practice with idols."

I just rolled my eyes, "We could've gone with Beast."

"Beast is busy with the comeback," Jaesoon defended.

"Infinite is busy, too," I complained.

"What's your problem?" Jaesoon asked, grabbing my hand to help me off the floor from putting my sneakers on.

"Me? Nothing," I said nonchalantly, "Just grouchy, I guess."

"Jinhwa," Sungyeol came over and smiled like nothing was wrong between us. I could see in his eyes—he was begging me to play along.

"Oppa," I said as enthusiastically as I could, "Long time no see!"

"Jinhwa, I need a cup of coffee. Can you show me to some sort of break room?" he was standing right in front of me and the smile was gone from his face.

"S-sure," I said, "Just follow me." I turned and led Sungyeol out to the hallway.

"Somewhere they won't walk in on us, please," he suggested, "I talked to Song-E before you got here."

"About me?" I felt a knot in my stomach as I opened a door to an empty conference room.

"And Dongwoon… so you didn't come home last night," Sungyeol sat on the table in the room and I shut the door and turned the light on.

"We didn't do anything," I said, almost rolling my eyes.

"Are you _with_ him now?" he asked, but I could hear the regret in his voice. He didn't want to know the answer. So I just looked at him. "You know that doesn't make my situation any easier. I still like you."

"Sungyeol," I whined, "Please. I hate this… crap! You don't like me, okay?"

"But I do, Jinhwa," he said quietly, looking at his feet.

"What if we try hanging out again? You said you didn't like me until we had been apart so… maybe you just missed having a normal friend around," I pushed his shoulder and he peeked up at me, appalled that I had pushed him. Then a smile slowly crept onto his face.

"You're really annoying sometimes," he said teasingly.

"Look who's talking!" I said loudly and hit his arm, "You're annoying, too, Lee Sungyeol!"

"At least I don't hit you!" he said, pretending to be super offended. He stood up straight and we play-fought in each other's faces.

"You act like it hurt!"

"Well, maybe it did!"

"Then you're a pansy, oppa."

"No, you're just a big monkey with big hands!"

"Yahhhh, I'm not a monkey!" I tried to push his chest but he grabbed my hands and laughed. I couldn't help but laugh, too, even though the distance between us was barely a distance at all. I could feel his hot breath on the top of my head. Don't look up, Jinhwa. Don't look up.

"Hey… Jinhwa," Sungyeol said, still breathing off his laugh.

"Yeah?" I asked, still closer to his chest than I wanted to be.

"I just want to know one thing," he let go of me and let me take a step back before asking, "Could it ever be me?"

I took a deep breath, "I don't know. There's a lot more to it than you could ever imagine."

"Give me a yes or no," he said seriously, "I want to be able to give up or keep fighting."

"Then I would say no," I said honestly, "Even if things don't last between Dongwoon and I, he will take a part of me that I could never give to someone else."

"Is there a part of you that I have that you could never give to anyone else?" he asked. He was searching for something to hold on to. Something to fight for. So I lied.

"No," I said, "There's nothing."

He looked down and swallowed. I was scared he was going to cry, but instead he popped right up and smiled. "Oh well, then."

I just watched as he made his way toward the door. I followed him out and then lead him back to the practice room we were in. Dongwoon was waiting outside the door, smiling and waving. He must not have read the messages, otherwise Sungyeol and I walking back from god-knows-where alone would look suspicious.

"You forgot your phone," Dongwoon said with a pout, and watched Sungyeol let himself in the practice room before hugging me. "How am I supposed to talk to you all day if you don't have your phone?"

"Oppaaa you're soaking wet!" I patted his clothes, "And you're still in sweats. You should've just brought it on your way into practice today."

"Well I texted you after you left to tell you I missed you already, and I heard your phone buzz from the couch. So I figured I'd bring it to you now… that way I could see you again," Dongwoon touched his nose to mine and couldn't fight the smile from his eyes.

"So thoughtful of you," I said, pulling away to tap his nose with my index finger and slip my phone from his hand, "Don't you have a jacket? Or an umbrella?"

"I was in a hurry," he pouted, "I'll call someone to pick me up."

"You're not too far from Cube," I said, "Just borrow Jiyoon's umbrella. She'll get it back at some point today."

Dongwoon chuckled a little bit, "At one of many many points of the day."

I raised an eyebrow, "Do you see Jiyoon often?"

Dongwoon laughed, "Of course I do… Did you not know?"

"Know what?" I pushed his chest playfully, "Are you secretly dating her, too?"

"Nope," he smiled, "You really don't know?"

"I guess not," I rolled my eyes, "Now tell me!"

He stared blankly at me, "Jiyoon-noona and Doojoon-hyung are dating."


	14. Chapter 14

"But… he's dating the wrong unni!" I argued to Dongwoon quietly, "I thought for sure he'd end up with Miyeonie!"

Dongwoon shrugged, "Jiyoon has always been around Beast, even before she knew you all. I don't know what exactly they feel for each other, but all I know is that it makes sense."

"When did they start dating?" I asked. I could feel my heart rate going up, but that was from Dongwoon playing with the drawstrings of my sweat pants. As exciting as this conversation was, our closeness was what made me lose my breath.

"Not too long ago… I guess about a week before our little mishap," Dongwoon talked about our two-week non-talking-spree like it was nothing, "So about 3 weeks?"

"Who all knows?"

"Well, Beast. Jaesoon knows… Jaesoon is actually the one who convinced Jiyoon to go with it."

"Really?" All of this new information was making my questions become louder and louder, "Jaesoonie did?"

Dongwoon nodded, "Maybe Jaesoon thinks if she can't have him, neither can Miyeon."

I laughed, "Those two do NOT work that way… You've got a lot to learn about my friends."

"It's always possible though!" Dongwoon conspired, "I'm surprised Miyeon doesn't know."

I sighed. Would Miyeon be super mad at Jiyoon? What kind of crap would that cause ATM? I didn't want to think about it right now. "Well you need to get to the dorm, don't you?"

Dongwoon nodded, "I'll be okay without an umbrella."

"No you will not," I said, looking outside to see the rain picking up even more, "You'll get sick if I let you go back out there, especially since you're already soaked. Why don't you go get some coffee and get somewhat dry. You don't need to be there right away do you?"

Dongwoon checked his phone, "I need to be there in like an hour."

"Well it only takes you 20 minutes to walk there. Go get dry downstairs," I said, "You know where our break room is."

"I can't stay up here with you?" Dongwoon pouted and pulled my hood over my head.

"We're going to be practicing with Infinite… if you won't get jealous I'm sure they'll let you sit in," I smiled but I was nervous that he'd sit in anyway. He may not be jealous, but I was worried of being around him and Sungyeol at the same time.

"No, you'll mess up if I'm in there," Dongwoon teased, "Let me just go say hi to the other girls and I'll just go ahead and go. I can change clothes at the dorm."

"Okay, oppa… I have a big sweatshirt in my bag if you want to trade it for yours," I blinked.

"It won't fit me," he laughed, "but we'll see." I led Dongwoon into the practice room and toward my bag in the corner. We didn't draw any attention to ourselves. He slipped his sweater off and dropped it into my bag.

"Noooo," I hissed and threw it out, "all my clothes will get wet."

"What are you doing?" Jiyoon said loudly while Dongwoon had his shirt off. Of course everyone then looked over at us.

"Jinhwa borrowed a shirt from me a while ago, I came to get it," he said. I bit my lip, laughing at the fact that my oversized sweatshirt was pretty girly and as soon as I handed it to him he would look ridiculous. Jiyoon looked at me as if looking for confirmation.

"And besides, he walked over here without an umbrella," I pouted, "He was all wet and cold. I couldn't let him leave like that."

The talking resumed as if nothing had happened, but Jiyoon made her way over to us. Dongwoon slipped on my shirt, which barely fit him and had a big red heart on it.

"Seriously, Jinhwa?" he blinked at me.

"It fits you well enough to be dry," I pouted.

"It's not yours," Jiyoon said and eyed Dongwoon. "I don't know what's going on here, but it better stop. I'm not putting my job on the line for you two."

My smart ass flared up and I almost said, "But you'd put your job on the line for Doojoon?" but I kept quiet. I felt strangely angry at Jiyoon right then, but I hid it. Instead I just nodded, and so did Dongwoon.

"You can't show up here in front of another company," Jiyoon said, less angrily than before, to Dongwoon, "What if rumors start popping up? The more witnesses can confirm you two the worse you are. Dongwoon, you can borrow my umbrella since you're too dumb to get one for yourself, and then get yourself out of here."

"Yes, noona," Dongwoon said with a slight pout. Jiyoon scoffed and nodded toward the corner where she put her stuff. I grabbed her umbrella and walked Dongwoon to the door. Before going outside, Dongwoon hugged me.

"See you later then?" he smiled.

"I hope so," I couldn't help but smile back. He pecked my lips and winked, then he was out the door and around the corner. After he was out of my sight, time went by so much slower and my head clouded with thoughts about Doojoon. What the heck was I going to do? Should I tell Miyeon? What if she gets really upset with Jiyoon and quits? I had no idea what I would do without her. Maybe Jaesoon knew something was going on between them, though, because that night we came home drunk, she wasn't angry to see Doojoon. I wondered what she ended up telling Miyeon that night.

"Alright, let's get started!" Infinite's choreographer said, "ATM, we want to see your version of Before The Dawn!"

I sighed. Back to my version of reality, I guess.

After hours of collaborative dance practice with Infinite, they left with the promise to be back. Myungsoo was getting a little overly friendly Song-E, who didn't seem to mind. In fact, when they left, he offered her a cozy "side-hug" and said something in her ear that made her blush. I would've paid more attention, but Sungyeol ruffled my hair roughly.

"See you, Jinah!" he said obnoxiously, making fun of Jaesoon.

"Only my unni can call me that!" I said with a pout. When I turned back to see what the heck was going on with L and E, he was already at the door and she was just smiling to herself. I blinked. She better not screw up with Gikwang.

"Where's Jaesoon?" Miyeon asked, slumping against the wall with a yawn.

"I didn't see Dongwoo leaving with Infinite," I said quietly. Miyeon smirked at me and nudged me with her elbow.

"Must be having a private 'dance session', right unni?" Miyeon said to Song-E.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, haha," Song-E half-heartedly laughed.

"What's with you?" Miyeon blinked, "That look on your face… and you're not paying attention to us. Thinking about Gikwang?"

Song-E went white, but hid it well, "I must have been. I was just letting my mind wander off."

Miyeon looked at me skeptically, but left the situation alone. I, on the other hand, made a mental note to myself to bring this up later.

A cell phone started ringing from the tiny bathroom connected to the practice room. It was a ringtone that I didn't recognized, but it was quickly silenced. We all looked at each other before Jiyoon moved toward the door. Just as she reached for the handle, Dongwoo stumbled out and bowed politely at everyone, mumbling words of thanks and parting before rushing out. Jaesoon came out of the same door, touching her lips and smiling. Jiyoon took a deep breath and then clapped her hands together to get everyone's attention. We thought we were all going to get yelled at, so the four of us were completely silent.

"Girls," Jiyoon said, then smiled, "Take a break. We've got a couple hours of vocal practice at 3, don't be late this time."

"Yay!" Miyeon said, skipping to grab her bag, "A break, a break, a brea-ak!"

"Who wants to go take a nap?" I offered.

"Me," Song-E said with a slight chuckle.

"Not me," Miyeon smiled, "I've got plans."

"With who?" Jaesoon asked, "Sunggyu?"

Miyeon shook her head, "Taecyeon. He finally got a break, so I told him I'd make lunch for him today."

We all stared at her. "You're going to cook?" I asked.

She laughed, "Microwave meals count as making lunch for him. Just as long as there's a lot of it."

Song-E shook her head, "This is why you two are perfect together."

Miyeon stopped, then blushed, "W-what? No we're not."

"You're worse than Jinah if you think that," Jaesoon said while gathering her things, "You and that big oaf are two peas—"

"He is _not_ a big oaf," Miyeon defended, "He's gorgeous."

"Well you like him, don't you?" Jaesoon said playfully.

"I don't know," Miyeon couldn't hide her smile. They continued going back and forth like that and I looked around for Song-E. I caught a glimpse of her jacket flowing out of the door, so I grabbed my bag and ran after her, catching her just before she got on the elevator.

"Unni, wait—" I stuck my hand in the door and caught it just before it closed.

"Sorry for leaving like that," Song-E chuckled nervously, "I'm in a rush."

"Where do you have to be so quick? If you're going to see Gikwang, we can just walk together," I blinked.

Song-E sighed, "I'm not. I'm having lunch with Myungsoo."

I didn't think that was a big deal, so why were they hiding it, so I figured I'd ask, "What are you hiding though?"

"N-nothing," Song-E shook her head and frowned on me, "Why would I hide anything?"

"You're being all discreet and whispery with Myungsoo," I said with a pout, "I wasn't trying to offend you. If you're just having lunch it's no big deal, unni."

Song-E swallowed and stared at the elevator doors, "We're just having lunch so don't jump down my throat about it."

"I'm sorry, unni," I said it and meant it, but there was still something extremely fishy about the way she was acting.

My phone rang when I got off the elevator and Miyeon's face was flashing on my screen.

"Where the hell did you go?" she asked, "Don't you want to at least eat with us first? And is Song-E with you?"

"I needed to talk to her about something, you two go ahead," I bit my lip.

"Are you guys going to Cube?" Miyeon asked, turning a little more serious.

"I am," I said honestly.

"I need to talk to Doojoon… tell him to text me when he gets the chance…" she sighed, "What's going on with him?"

He's dating our manager, "I have no idea, unni." I grabbed Song-E's arm to stop her from walking out the door. She looked at me angrily, but I held up my finger to ask her to wait.

"Well I'll see you back at practice then," Miyeon sighed, "Have fun!"

"You, too, and tell Mr. Yummy I said hello," I teased.

"Shut it," Miyeon laughed and hung up.

"What is it?" Song-E asked, calming down when I let go of her.

"Did you know about Jiyoon and Doojoon?" I asked quietly.

Song-E sighed, "Yeah… I don't know how to tell Miyeon, so I asked Jaesoon to do it."

"But she hasn't," I blinked, "Not yet, anyway."

Song-E shrugged, "You can do it if you want."

I shook my head, "I'm scared."

Song-E laughed and ruffled my hair, "You're seriously such a little maknae, Jinhwa. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Be careful," I said innocently. There was a lot I wanted to say, but I didn't, because there was also a lot I didn't know. All I could hope for is that her and Myungsoo weren't getting too close.

"Jinhwa, you're right on time!" Yoseob said, wiping the sweat off his face. Gikwang looked behind me and out the door.

"Did you escape?" he asked with an innocent look on his face. I knew he was looking for Song-E.

"Oh, uh," I chuckled, "she stayed with Jaesoon to go over our new dance. She's just working so hard."

Gikwang smiled, "She's really something, isn't she?"

I forced a smile, "She has to be in this business."

"Little maknae!" Dongwoon came at me with sweat practically raining off of him."

"Oh, no, no," I laughed, "You better wipe yourself off first."

He pouted, "But… little maknae…"

I held my nose playfully, "You stink, big maknae."

"Did Jiyoon come with you?" Junhyung asked while running a towel through his hair.

"Not with me," I blinked, "She's very busy today, though."

They kept bombarding me with questions while I answered them like they were nothing and Dongwoon changed his shirt and re-deodorized in the corner. I couldn't keep my eyes off him. Something about him, and about being "officially" with him, was making me smile nonstop. Just being around him made my heart go crazy.

When he finally walked to my side, I didn't answer anymore questions and the other members gave up talking to me. All I could see and hear was Dongwoon. It was light a bright light surrounded him and everything else just faded.

"You want to grab some food?" he asked. I just nodded.

"Doojoon," Dongwoon called to the floor where Doojoon was laying, "I'll be back later."

"Be back in an hour," he yawned. Dongwoon rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around my shoulder.

"Yeah, sure, one hour," Dongwoon said nonchalantly, "see you later!"

"I'm serious Son Dongwoon, you be back here in one hour!" Doojoon lifted his head and opened his eyes, "Oh, hey, wait! I'm going to walk down with you!"

I looked at Dongwoon quizzically, who looked just as confused as me. When the three of us made got out of the practice room, Doojoon walked past the elevators and to the stairs.

"The two of you… I wanted to know your opinions," Doojoon sniffed, "on me and Jiyoon."

"The only one who doesn't know about it is Miyeon," Dongwoon said quietly.

"I don't want her to be upset," Doojoon said quietly, "I care about her and everything… but it's not the same."

I couldn't listen to this crap, so I bitterly said, "You really hurt her, so it doesn't really matter now."

Dongwoon looked at me, shocked at my sudden attitude, but Doojoon looked completely unsurprised. "I didn't do it to hurt her. Don't punish me, Jinhwa."

"I'm just saying," I shrugged, "I, personally, don't want to tell her because I'm scared she'll be upset and leave the group."

"She wouldn't do that," Doojoon tried to sound sure of himself, but there was worry in his voice. "Miyeon isn't dramatic like that."

"I know she's not," I said, "but I always have to prepare for the worst. Can we go now? I'm starving."

"One hour," Doojoon said and waved us away while he went back up the stairs.

Dongwoon and I pushed that entire situation from our minds while we ate at his apartment. The rain had stopped and left us with one of the muggiest days of the year. I pushed up my sleeves and tugged at my collar. Normally I wanted to stand close to him, but all I wanted right now was to stand in front of a fan.

"It got so hot all of a sudden," Dongwoon pouted, "I hate spring."

My phone started to ring loudly. I had such a struggle finding it in my purse that I made Dongwoon hold my purse while I dug everything out. Finally, I saw Song-E's face at the very bottom of my purse.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"No," she said, "I was with Myungsoo and I think someone was following us. Taking pictures. Now he's following me and I'm really scared."

"What?" I looked worriedly at Dongwoon.

"There's someone following me and taking pictures of me," her voice was getting thick, as if she was fighting off the urge to cry.

"What's the matter?" Dongwoon asked quietly.

"Unni, where are you?" I asked. She gave me directions to the coffee house she was hiding in and I promised her I'd be right there. "Just keep trying to call the others, and especially Jiyoon."

"Okay," she sniffed, "Just hurry."

"I'll be right there, unni, I promise," I said again before hanging up.

"What happened?" Dongwoon asked. I could only sigh. There wasn't a lot I could say without ratting Song-E out.

"I'm sorry, oppa, but I have to go right now. Song-E needs me," I looked around, worried that now I was being followed, "I'll have to explain later."

"Text me?" he said, frustrated that I was blowing him off so soon.

"Absolutely," I made a kiss-face at him, scared to get even a little closer to him in public, "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, yeah, just hurry and help Song-E," Dongwoon waved his hand at me and winked. Even though he was amazingly cute, I couldn't stop worrying. Song-E was terrified, and for good reason. If pictures of her and Myungsoo leaked, Gikwang would see them. I knew she shouldn't have gone, but it was too late now. I had no idea what to do. I just knew I had to get to her as fast as possible.


	15. Chapter 15

"I'm here, where are you?" I asked Song-E on the phone, looking all over the small café for her.

"I'm in the bathroom," she sighed, "Did you see that blue car outside?"

"There aren't any cars outside," I said while making my way to the bathroom. I peeked under the stall doors and saw her touching her toes together.

"Are you here?" she asked on the phone.

"Yes, unni," I said and hung up, "come on, get out of there."

She opened the door slowly and sighed, "I'm officially the worst person in the entire world."

I didn't know what she was talking about, but this bathroom was not the place to talk about it, "Let's just go back to the dorm, unni." I tried to hold her hand to lead her out but she whipped her hand away.

"No," she was almost yelling, "I have to see Gikwang."

"You can call him on the way out," I said, "Let's just—"

"You don't understand," she was shaking her head.

"Okay, fine," I headed toward the bathroom door, locked it, and then turned to face her, "What happened?"

"We were just talking, okay? I was even talking about Gikwang! And then he just randomly puts his arm around me like he's going to put me in a headlock, but instead he kissed my cheek. And I KNOW that photographer was taking pictures the entire time and I KNOW it's going to be a huge scandal, okay? And I'm going to look like the biggest freaking whore, because now I've been seen with Gikwang AND Myungsoo," Song-E started crying somewhere in the middle and I took the liberty of hugging her, but she kept going, "I have to see Gikwang and tell him that I lied, and what really happened, before those pictures come up and he gets the wrong idea. I have to see him. I have to go right now."

"Unni," I paused, "you can't just burst in there and demand to speak to him," I checked my phone for the time, "They're back in practice now."

"I don't care," she straightened up and wiped her eyes, "I want to see him right now."

"Come here," I pulled her by the hand and looked for paper towels, but just grabbed some toilet paper when I couldn't find any. I wet it under the faucet, and then held her face while wiping off the makeup smears. "You're a mess, unni."

She just sniffed and let me fix her eyes. Once I cleaned her up I gave her another hug.

"Are you calmed down now?" I asked and held her back to look at her. She nodded and dried her eyes a little more. "Are you sure you want to see him right now?"

"Yes," Song-E didn't even hesitate when I asked. She gathered her bag from the sink and walked toward the door.

"Did anyone else answer the phone?" I asked and hurried to catch up to her.

"No, but Jiyoon promised she'd call me when she was out of the meeting. I haven't told anyone else but you," she looked over her shoulder at me, "Will you call Dongwoon? Tell him we're on our way?"

"Unni, I think you should just wait a minute to chill out," I said, struggling to keep up with her while she sped down the street.

"Just call Dongwoon, please," she said quietly. It had started to rain again, the weather as bipolar as the events of the day. Not even 15 minutes ago it was sunny and hot, now Song-E and I were pulling our hoods over our heads. So I just listened to her. It took several rings before Dongwoon finally answered, and rudely.

"We just picked up practice, are you okay?" the tone of his voice sounded really annoyed.

"Yes, I'm fine," I said, "But Song-E needs to stop by and see Gikwang right now."

"Uhh…" Dongwoon paused, "Are you sure about that?"

"Woon," I sighed, "Just have him meet her downstairs, I guess. I'll wait outside."

"No, no," he sighed, "Did something happen? Are you okay? You sound upset…"

"I'm fine," I said, "Song-E just needs to see Gikwang right away. Please."

"Well our managers are gone, it's just the choreos, so it should be okay. Just come up, we're going to practice until then," he sighed, "I don't mean to be short with you, but we can't just keep doing this."

I wanted to argue back and say I wasn't doing anything, but I knew whatever Dongwoon was mad about wasn't aimed at me. "I'm sorry. We'll be there… whenever." The other line clicked and I just rolled my eyes. The rain started to pick up.

When we finally got to the building, Song-E didn't hesitate to barge into their practice. The managers still weren't there, so the choreos said the boys could take another break.

"Make it a short one, please," Doojoon locked eyes with Song-E, who nodded. Dongwoon had gone to the bathroom, so I stood around looking stupid.

"Jinhwa, can we talk a minute… again?" Doojoon asked me.

"Sure."

"I know new relationships are new and exciting—"

"Whatever reasons you think I have for being here," I sighed, "they're not true. I'm here for Song-E."

"Do you mind telling me what happened then?"

"It's not my business," I said simply, "It's between Gikwang and Song-E, and it has nothing to do with Beast. So it's not really your business either."

Doojoon nodded, "Well, if you decide differently, let me know." He paused, "Jinhwa, I like you. I'll open up to you, but you have to open up to me."

"I haven't really decided whether or not I like you, though, Doojoon," I said. Right as I did, Dongwoon came back in.

"Oh my gosh, Jinhwa, you're soaked," he frowned, "You're going to catch a cold."

"I'm fine," I smiled. Doojoon had turned and left. I didn't get to see his reaction to what I said, but I couldn't decide whether I wanted him to be upset or not. My phone started ringing while Dongwoon started to blot-dry me with a towel. It was Miyeon.

"Yeoboseyo?" I answered.

"What's wrong with Song-E? She called me like 12 times and now she won't answer the phone!"

"She's fine," I sighed, "We'll be back soon. Something just happened.."

"Well hurry, because Jiyoon is going to kill you if you're late again," Miyeon yawned.

"What time is it?" I asked, looking around for a clock on the wall or something.

Miyeon spoke with a mouthful of food, "It's like 2:30. Where are you? Is leader unni with you?"

"Yeah, she is," I sighed, "We'll be back in 20 minutes. Do we have any extra clothes laying around?" I tried to stifle a laugh while I swatted Dongwoon's hand away from me as he kept trying to "dry me off."

"Just hurry up, maknae," Miyeon then went into a fit of giggles.

"Wait a minute," I paused, "Where are _you_?"

"Taecyeon is just dropping me off," she said as calmly as possible, but I heard her whispering something like "stop doing that."

"Uh huh, sure," I laughed, "I don't even want to know anymore."

"N-no, Jinhwa don't get the wrong idea! He's tickling me!" Miyeon squealed and I heard a big slap.

"Ouuuuch," I heard Taecyeon say in the background.

"You better kiss that," I teased, "It must have really hurt him."

"Shut up, maknae, just get back to practice… right now!"

I laughed and hung up. She always made me feel better.

"What's happening with Song-E?" Dongwoon asked in a whisper.

"I think I'll let Gikwang tell you," I sighed, "It's really just not my business. I'm sorry, big maknae."

Dongwoon just smiled, "You're a good friend."

"What?" I laughed, "No, I just want what's best for Song-E. I don't want to spread drama where it's not needed."

"That makes you a good friend, though," Dongwoon poked my nose, "It's part of why I like you so much."

I scrunched my nose looked around toward the door. It had just opened and Gikwang came back in. Alone. Uh oh.

"I better go," I said and pecked his cheek, "Text me when you're out of practice. I'll probably be home."

"You always leave in such a hurry," Dongwoon kept a hold of my hand, "I better get a real kiss later."

I stuck my tongue out playfully and pulled away from him. It was hard to act playful when I was so worried about Song-E. She was right outside the door, slumped against the wall with her head in her knees. She heard me say her name and looked up. She was a wreck. Obviously, Gikwang didn't take it well.

"Come on, unni," I said and held out my hand, "We have to go to practice."

"I'm an idiot," she said through tears, grabbing my hand and putting very little effort into standing up while I pulled.

"You're not," I said, leading her back to our building as fast as she could walk.

"Yes I am," she sobbed, "He's so hurt and it's all my fault," she kept saying. I didn't know how to comfort her, so I just held her hand while we walked back. She calmed herself down before we got inside.

"I'll talk to Jiyoon first," Song-E told me while we rode the elevator upstairs and she wiped her face, "Just don't say anything to the other two."

"Unni," I pouted, "We're not just friends, you know… we're sisters now. You can tell us anything, and if I were in their position, my feelings would be hurt…"

"I'm just embarrassed," she said, "I'll tell them on my own, just not right now. We need to get to work."

I sighed and nodded. I knew Song-E would talk to both of them when the time came. She was really the best choice for leader, and all of us knew it. She didn't understand because she had screwed up. I could admit that she screwed up. But I had a bad feeling about it in the pit of my stomach… Why was Myungsoo even acting that way toward her? They'd only hung out one time, and he suddenly decides to act all flirty? Surely Song-E told him that she had a boyfriend… It really made me wonder what sort of intentions Myungsoo had.

And why did the photographer leave when Myungsoo did? Instead of staying to get pictures of Song-E? If I was trying to start a scandal, I would stay until Song-E left. I was glad this photographer was dumb, but I couldn't help thinking there was a lot more to this story than what we knew. If these pictures never surfaced, I wouldn't be surprised.

"You guys are right on time!" Jiyoon smiled, "And soaking wet… is it raining that hard?"

Song-E laughed, "Yeah, it's been pouring for the last hour. Where have you been?" I smiled to myself at Song-E's true "idol factor." She could act like everything was absolutely fine even when inside she was falling apart. I didn't have that factor, but the more I hung around my unnis, the stronger that factor would get.

"Well, let's head upstairs," Jaesoon clapped, "After the voice practice, we're going to the gym."

"WAAAH, I DON'T WANT TO!" Miyeon pouted, "I've been going non-stop all day! Morning practice, shopping with Taec, and now I have to work out?"

"Unni is trying to kill us," I held Miyeon's elbow and pouted, then both of us scowled at Jaesoon.

"What? You two are fine," Jaesoon said strictly, "We need to stay nice and toned. Don't you want oppas to always love you? Better stay fit, then!"

"I'm actually looking forward to it," Song-E said, "I need to spend a good 30 minutes on the treadmill."

"That's the spirit!" Jaesoon hooked her arm around Song-E, "I can always count on leader-nims to be enthusiastic."

Song-E smiled, but she didn't say anything. I was still worried, but I could feel the stress lifting off of her. Something about being together—all four of us—we could always focus on the positive. The mood always lifted. I rested my head on Miyeon's shoulder while we walked.

"Hey, unni," I said, "You know that you mean a lot to me, right?"

Miyeon chuckled, "Of course I do, maknae. You need a good, strong, female influence in your life and I'm really glad that I am that influence."

"I'm serious, though," I laughed, "I'm really glad to be in this group with you. And Jaesoon and Song-E unnis, too. I feel really lucky."

Miyeon smiled, "I feel really lucky, too. Thanks for being here, maknae."

Song-E's phone started ringing. She turned slightly paler when she checked the ID.

"It's Gikwang," she looked at Jiyoon, "Please let me take it."

"Go ahead, but hurry up," Jiyoon groaned. What she didn't know was that this phone call was lifting so much off of Song-E's shoulders. I bit my lip as I watched Song-E drift down the opposite hall. She began to cry quietly, and I saw her lips saying "I'm sorry" over and over. I knew Gikwang—he couldn't stay mad at her. He was probably hurt, but he was going to fix this. He always fixed it, at least between Song-E and him. I was glad she had him.

"Jaesoon," Miyeon smirked, "is Dongwoo a good kisser?"

"The best," Jaesoon sighed, "Why do you ask?"

"Are you guys.. getting serious?" I asked.

Jiyoon blinked, "I'm going to pretend I'm not hearing this conversation."

"I don't know," Jaesoon sighed, "I think so… I know we both really like each other…"

Jiyoon cleared her throat, "Miyeon, I'm dating Doojoon."

Miyeon stopped walking and shook my arm off angrily, "What?"


	16. Chapter 16

Jaesoon grabbed my arm and rushed me to the room we'd be practicing in today but I tried to slow her down to hear the conversation.

"I wanted to tell you sooner—"

"What do you _mean_ you're dating Doojoon?" Miyeon said, voice raising, "Since when?"

Jiyoon looked over her shoulder at us and Jaesoon pulled me around the corner.

"Unni, wait," I shook her off and stopped at the corner, leaning against the wall to try to hear the conversation.

"Jinah, you really need to stay out of this one," Jaesoon sighed.

"I just want to make sure Miyeonie doesn't leave," I whispered. Jaesoon shook her head and stood next to me. She wanted to eavesdrop just as bad as I did. Both of us were terrified that Miyeon would be pissed.

"Two weeks now," Jiyoon sighed, "I'm really—"

"YOU GUYS WENT TWO WEEKS WITHOUT TELLING ME?" Miyeon yelled, "WHAT THE HELL?"

"I didn't want to upset you," Jiyoon sighed, "You know I really care about you, so I thought—"

"Why does no one freaking tell me anything?" Miyeon whined, "Do you all hate me that—where did Jinhwanie and Jaesoonie go?"

"I guess they were trying to give us time to talk on our own," Jiyoon said quietly.

"Why?"

"Maybe they thought you'd be really upset with me," Jiyoon explained.

"I AM!" Miyeon stomped her foot, "You went twooo whooole weeeeks without telling me you have a boyfriend, unni! I thought we were friends!"

"So you're not mad that I'm with Doojoon?"

"What? Why would I be mad?" Miyeon laughed, "I'm just glad he bucked up the courage to ask you. He said he's always had feelings for you."

Jiyoon's tone changed dramatically into a giddy school girl, "He said that?"

"Of course he did," Miyeon laughed, "It used to piss me off but since I've been hanging out with Taecyeon…"

I forgot I was eavesdropping and asked from behind the wall, "Unni, are you and Yummy official yet?"

"Jinah!" Jaesoon pulled me back behind the corner, though she was fighting laughter herself.

Miyeon chuckled and pulled Jiyoon towards our practice room, "Come on, unni, we're going to be late. But _you two_, yes you, Jinhwa, you two are in big fat trouble!"

"But why?" I pouted, "I didn't even know until this morning, and only because Dongwoon told me!" I defended.

"I can't believe you guys didn't tell me!" Miyeon playfully hit Jaesoon's arm, "I'm not an emotional wreck, I can take it."

"Because you've got Yummy?" I asked and nudged her.

Miyeon just rolled her eyes, but the smile on her face told me yes.

Once we got to the practice room, we waited another 10 minutes before Song-E made it in. She was still very sniffly and her eyes were red and puffy. Jiyoon had gone to do some business stuff and Miyeon was in the middle of practicing her rap. I floated toward Song-E and hooked my arm in hers.

"You okay?" I asked and patted her elbow.

She nodded, "I got really lucky. Gikwang is very, very understanding."

"What will happen if those pictures come up?" I asked in a whisper.

Song-E sighed, "We deal with it. At least the rumors about Gikwang and I will stop…"

"Is that what you want?" I asked.

"It's what's best," she forced a smile and opened a text. My curiosity got the best of me, and I caught a glimpse of it.

Sender: Yours 3  
>3:17PM<br>Just wanted to remind you that I love you. See you later.

I smiled and hovered over to Jaesoon, who was falling asleep against the wall. Her face was between her knees, and she was so flat against the wall that she wasn't even noticeable. I took a picture before I squatted down next to her.

"Unni," I said loud and fast to scare her. She jumped awake and blinked at me. "It's about to be my turn and I want you to be awake."

"I wasn't sleeping, I was just—"

"Snoring—"

"Resting my eyes," she claimed, "I'll pay attention, I promise."

I smiled and nodded. When it was my turn, I sang just the chorus of the song we had been working on. Halfway through, the vocal coach stopped me.

"You need to feel it more," he told me, "That's a very important part of being a musician. Even if you're in love, you need to be able to break a broken heart. Even if you're angry, you need to be able to fake the aegyo style songs. Try again, but be broken hearted."

I nodded and waited for my cue. Before it started, I thought about Sungyeol for some reason. When the words came out of my mouth, they came out a lot differently than last time. I truly got lost in singing. Even after he stopped playing piano, I kept singing until I was finished. When I opened my eyes, he nodded.

"That was _much_ better," he smiled, "Let's work on your verse and then I want to go through the whole song."

"Are we going to finish it until the end today?" Song-E asked.

"Oh, you're here! You can go after Jinhwa," our coach said, "But yeah, we've got lyrics done but we're going to need to teach them to you."

Song-E nodded and we continued the practice. I couldn't get Sungyeol out of my head while we sang. Why was Sungyeol in my head?

When we were done learning the song—even though we were reading off a sheet of paper—Jiyoon was back and listening.

"PD is on his way over," she said, not even a second after the last note of the song, "He wants to hear the song."

"Whoa, wait," Song-E shook her head, "the PD is coming here? I thought he was in Japan!"

Jiyoon, who looked very flustered, shrugged dramatically, "I did, too, but he's going to be here in 10 minutes so let's run through it one more time, please?"

Our coach nodded and counted off from the top. As perfect as we made it in practice, there was only one shot to prove how perfect we were to the PD.

When he got in, he was overly friendly. With him was a small girl we'd never seen. She must have been 20 or 22, but she looked nothing like the PD. Girlfriend? No, she was way too young.

"You girls are looking more and more like idols every day," he said nicely, "It's good to see you all! But let's not waste any time, sing me this song!"

We bowed and our coach put the track on instead of playing piano. It was weird, but Jaesoon hit straight into it. All four of us put everything we had into this one performance. What really made the song was Miyeon's series of raps. She really created a good vibe for us.

At the end, PD clapped a few times, "It's coming along wonderfully. Well done! Areum, what do you think?"

"I think it was wonderful," she smiled. We all blinked. Areum? Was that her name or was it a nickname?

"Girls, this is Yang Areum. She's going to be working with you over the next few days."

We blinked again. I raised an eyebrow, "Like a manager-unni?"

PD nodded, "At the end of the week, some decisions will be made." He looked at Jiyoon when he said this. "For now, you girls take good care of each other!"

We looked from Jiyoon to Areum, then at each other. Jiyoon wouldn't make eye contact with us.

"Areum-ssi, if you'll come upstairs with me, we can get some paperwork done for your transfer," PD bowed before leaving.

"It was nice to meet you," Areum said, "I hope we can get to know each other later!"

We were too in shock to really respond, but as soon as the door shut behind her, Miyeon snapped at Jiyoon.

"Who the hell is she?"

Jiyoon sighed, "She's my replacement, guys."


	17. Chapter 17

"She's my replacement, guys."

What? That didn't make sense. The four of us might has well have dropped to the floor. The silence in the room was literally the loudest silence I'd ever heard.

"What?" Song-E finally broke the silence with anger, "What do you mean she's your replacement?"

Jiyoon sighed, "I'm sorry, girls… This has been my favorite job ever, but… Nam PD has offered me a different position. Well, he sorta begged me to take it."

"What position?" Jaesoon whined, "Why are you leaving us?"

Jiyoon pouted, "Guys, I didn't go to school to be a idol manager.."

It was then that we all four stopped letting the world revolve around us for a second. We all knew Jiyoon graduated from university, but did we ever bother to ask her what she went for?

"I've been given the position of Director of Sales and Budgeting," she was trying not to smile, "I get my own office."

Miyeon laughed, "That's all you care about, isn't it? Your own office!"

"Is that what you wanted to do all along?" I pouted.

Jiyoon shrugged, "If you want me to be honest, yeah."

The four of us laughed, "You're not going to be able to keep it organized."

We teased her some more for the next few minutes before she made us get back to work. That didn't work for more than 20 minutes. We left vocal practice 45 minutes early.

The next few weeks stayed the same. Besides the fact that Areum was in-and-out observing our practices and schedules, nothing had changed yet. Turns out, Jiyoon needed to take another course before taking on the official position of Director of Sales, so she went to a night class once a week while continuing to take care of us. Most of the time, when Areum came in, she didn't speak to anyone. We tried being friendly with her a few times, but she seemed quite shy. Jiyoon promised she would warm up to us all, but the four of us were skeptical. It wasn't that she didn't seem nice or anything—we just felt like she didn't like us very much.

Amazingly, no pictures of Myungsoo and Song-E had surfaced yet. We chalked it up to the photographer not getting very good shots or something. Either way, Song-E was relieved. Even though she caused a hiccup in her relationship with Gikwang, she felt better because she had been honest with him about what happened. To this day, none of ATM knows what actually happened that made her so nervous about Gikwang seeing the photos, but we didn't bother to ask. For all we knew, it was part of the past. And if they eventually did come up one day, at least Song-E and Gikwang had moved way past it.

Dongwoon and I were spending less and less time together. Beast had announced their comeback date, and they were only a week or so from releasing their teaser. They were working harder than ever on music video filming, dance practicing, and promotion photos. I missed him more than ever at night. It was causing me to sleep less and less. Sometimes, he would be unable to sleep, too, and he'd call me. The closer their comeback got, though, the more tired he was and the easier it was for him to sleep.

I'm glad I wasn't alone, though. Song-E missed Gikwang like crazy, as well. Jiyoon never talked to us about her relationship with Doojoon, but we assumed she wasn't seeing him as much, either.

"What are you girls doing tonight?" Jiyoon asked after an easy dance practice.

"I'm going—" Jaesoon began.

"To see Dongwoo?" I asked bitterly.

She finished as if I hadn't interrupted her, "I'm going to see a movie with my little sister."

"Some of our friends called," Song-E said, referring to her and Miyeon, "so we're going to go hang out with them tonight."

I blinked. None of my family or friends lived here.

"Do you have plans, too, Jiyoon?" I asked, half hoping she didn't.

She bit her lip, seeming to read my expression, "You know I have my night class on Tuesdays."

"You can come with my sister and me, Jinah," Jaesoon offered.

"Or you could hang out with us!" Miyeon offered, "Our friends would love you!"

I laughed, "I think I'm going to jump on this opportunity to sleep while the dorm is actually empty. You guys can go have fun without me."

Truthfully, I just didn't want to be the source of the ever awkward "this-girl-is-in-my-group-and-I-felt-bad-for-her-so-I-brought-her-along-I-hope-that's-okay" look. I knew that Song-E and Miyeon's friends would like me, and I know I could have fun with Jaesoon and her sister. But I wasn't part of the original plans. Sleep sounded like a fun idea, anyway. After assuring the others that I would be fine by myself and they all got ready to go, I really did tuck myself into bed and tried to close my eyes.

My phone buzzed. I figured it was Dongwoon apologizing for the 12th time about how late he had to work tonight. But I was wrong.

( Hey, what are you doing tonight? I just escaped. )

It was Sungyeol. I hadn't talked to him since I told him I only wanted to be friends.

( I'm just laying around at the dorm. The unnis all had plans without me. T^T )

( Wanna chill? I can rent a movie and get some takeout. )

I smiled to myself. This didn't sound like too bad of an idea. Not because it involved seeing Sungyeol, though that was a plus. It was because we weren't going anywhere. We were going to eat and be lazy. That sounded like an awesome plan to me.

( Call me when you get close, I'll get out of bed to let you inside… f^_^;) )

I decided to text Dongwoon, simply because I missed him. I knew I probably wouldn't get an answer, but I know he'd read it. So I had to think of the best thing to say to make him smile.

( If you don't make some free time soon, I'm going to lose all my cooking abilities! )

To my surprise, he texted back a few minutes later.

( If I don't make some free time for your cooking, I'm going to starve. If I don't make some free time for you in general, I'm going to go crazy. I should be free Thursday night through Saturday afternoon. Do you wanna make plans? )

Did he even have to ask?

( I'll do anything. D: Just as long as I get to see you. )

I didn't get another text back. I'm sure I would later, but I knew he was busy right now.

I must have dozed off, because I woke up an hour or so later to my phone ringing.

"Is the door locked?" I answered, knowing it was Sungyeol.

"It sure is," he laughed, "I've been waiting out here for like 15 minutes, hurry up!"

"I'm sorry~~!" I said, rolling out of bad and toward the door without caring about my terrible selection of clothes. I was wearing a tank top and Dongwoon's sweat pants. I knew I looked ridiculous, but it was just Sungyeol. Me and him were just friends.

When I opened the door and saw him, the stupid bubbles came back. Why? Why did that happen with him? My stomach felt like someone dropped Alka Seltzer in it.

"Hi," he must've been laughing at my clothes, "Long time, no see!"

I practically jumped on him, "I missed you so much, oppa!"

He was surprised by my affection, pushing me inside despite my tight hug and dropping the takeout food on the counter. Once his hands were free, though, his long arms wrapped around me, "You never make time for me!"

"I haven't even been busy, but you never bothered even texting me!" I shrugged out of his hug and hit him on the chest.

"Yah, I'm not the only one with a working phone, hypocrite!" he teased and feigned hurt.

"Did you get a movie?" I started going through all the stuff he brought.

"I didn't see any movie places," he pouted, "I bought a video game though. Since all you have is Wii Sports."

"Don't hate, Miyeon and I are bowling champions," I laughed, "What game?"

"Super Smash Brothers," Sungyeol smiled hugely, "It looks like a lot of fun!"

We ate our crappy take out dinner while catching up on … well, everything. Sungyeol was even man enough to ask about Dongwoon. It felt like he was really here to be my friend. Afterwards we played video games for hours, until the other girls got home, even. They joined in on a few games before going to bed. By 12, Song-E convinced me it was time for bed and that Sungyeol should go home before his managers got extremely worried.

"I've had a fun night," I said honestly, "I really needed it."

"Of course," Sungyeol said proudly, "Don't hesitate to schedule another one of these."

"I'll talk to you soon, okay oppa?" I laughed while holding the door open for him.

He sighed, "I know I'm about to ruin it—"

I got worried instantly, "Then don't."

"I have to say it," he said.

I stared at him, begging him not to say what I thought he was going to say. We had just had a really great night. I couldn't hear the words I know he was thinking. Because if he said them, after having such a good night with him and being away from Dongwoon, I would be too weak to fight anything off. Especially the tears that were already beginning to form.

"Actually," Sungyeol sighed, "I can't do that to you. It's not important, anyway… We make a couple of awesome friends."

With that, Sungyeol walked out. I watched him go down the stairs and out of the building. That was all he was going to say? No goodbye? No hug?

"Jinhwa?" Miyeon's voice came from the living room.

"Yeah?" I didn't realize it, but I'd been standing at the open door for over 10 minutes now.

"Are you okay?" she asked, shutting the door and locking it.

I sighed, "I don't think so."

"What's wrong?" she asked, worry soaking her already tired voice.

I just sighed and turned to go lay down. My phone was on my bed where I'd left it. I had 3 missed calls, all from Dongwoon. Two texts.

( Why aren't you answering? T^T )

( I guess you're catching up on sleep. I miss you a lot… and I love you. Please don't hesitate to call me as soon as you get this. I need to hear your voice. )


End file.
